Home Hare line Contact List Hash History Links Run Reports Jokes Email us
RUN REPORTS 2015 (See Hash History Page for Years 2013 and previous years)
RUN 1446 27th DECEMBER 2015
Hares: Sweet & Low and Yogi
I was late for the Hash due to my good deed of the day, picking up "Quicksand" who got the Mijas bus schedule wrong! But as we say on the hash "you can't leave your buddies behind" Oooops that should increase the number of gay Hashers!
Being Christmas it is a very spiritual time for me so I would firstly like to related what happened at the weekend prior to getting to the Sunday Hash. Saturday night I was just about to got to bed, so that I would be fit, and full of beans for the run the next day, when for some reason I just flicked the TV remote to the "Adult channel" well the next thing I know it's 3.30am in the morning and used box of Kleenex next to the sofa!,, off to bed exhausted. I awoke again at 6.00am with a strange feeling to attend the morning mass at the local church, by 7.00am I was in a pew listening to the sermon!
Getting back home feeling invigorated, I changed into my hash attire for the Sunday run!!!!!!!
My question to you all ------------------- do you think I am changing to a "Porn again Christian?"
The run: As stated Quicksand and myself arrived late, but after a briefing with the Sweet & Low we headed off in the direction of the shortly departed pack, the group were about to head off trail down some bank to a soggy dog poo ridden overgrown path, it was actually not a bad trail and took us around the only wooded area of Cala Honda ! I made my way to front of the pack being fit and spiritually reformed passing Mummies Boy, Elephant arse and Lee Marvin who were taking the senior citizens route, on reaching the Beer stop one could see that there was a good turn out, the Streaky family were out in force, the Russia mob, and visiting (returners ) from Glasgow, Yogi got us started on the second half of the run taking us down to the beach side boardwalk, where he has reported to the Authorities for laying a suspicious substance? Being a good citizen I have passed on all the information to the police that may see this devious person incarcerated for some considerable time!
Finding ourselves back at Sweet & Lows abode a vote of a "great run" was bestowed to her and Yogi, the circle was followed by a 3 course meal and vino supplied by the Hares,
Well done Hares, great day out.
On on and God bless
YMWW Sir Flakey.
RUN 1445 THE CHRISTMAS HASH 20th DECEMBER 2015
Well since the stupid Hare (JUSTIN CASE) forgot to have the LOST SOULS telephone number posted in the Run Directions I became very lost in the mountains of Mijas and eventually arrived at the Circle as the penultimate (AERO FLAPS behind me) to be told I had to be the SCRIBE so you will all be sorry you asked me. HERE IT IS: -
LA CARRERA DE NAVIDAD DEL 20 DE DICIEMBRE 2015 1445
Bueno desde que la estupida lievre (JUSTIN CASE) ha olvidado de poner el numero de telefono para la gente tonta como yo que no encuentra el camino y perdida en los montañas de Mijas, aunque llegue la penultima ya que (AERO FLAPS) venia detras de mi y me han vuelto a pedir el relato del recorrido.. Y AQUI VA
JUST SAY WHEN did something bad and earned a down down for disrespect. I don’t know what
JUST SAY WHEN hizo algo que ofendio y consigio una cerveza y no se porque.
GOLDEN CASCADE was sexily dressed in a fabulous red kit THAT had to be the best costume but a Hunky Russian was watching her bending down…. naughty boy…. Hope he was suitably stiffened for that
GOLDEN CASCADE iba demasiado sexy con ese vestido rojo envidiada por todas pero ese Ruso buenorro estaba mirando por debajo de su falda……vaya chico malo…..seguramente le gusto la vista
FLAKEY (NOT SIR FLAKEY) had a down down, I believe, for a small dog climbing over his car seat and doing I know not what… but punishable!
FLAKEY (NOT SIR FLAKY) tuvo que tomar una cerveza yo creo que, porque un perrillo se subio al asiento de su coche e hizo no se que…pero le valio una sancion!
MUMMYS BOY claims to have passed a Police Breathalyzer after drinking two bottles of wine and registering 0.01… BELIEVE IT OR NOT… punishment for lying!!!!!!
MUMMYS BOY affirma que paso un control de alcoolemia despues de haberse bebido dos botellas de vino y solo marcaba 0.01 ….. CREE TE LO O NO!! una Sancion por mentir !!
JUSTIN CASE claims not to have liked dogs on the Hash so who cares?
JUSTIN CASE no le gusta los perros en el HASH y que le importa eso?
PUSSY GALORE wore a red bin bag so was called the BAG LADY
MEGASOREARSE had something in his car like a Christmas tree
MEGASOREARSE’s wife dog peed in the keypot so he was down downed for that
PUSSY GALORE llevaba una bolsa de basura roja y le pusimos “la señora del bolso”
MEGASOREARSE tenia algo en su coche parecido a un arbol de navidad
El perro de la señora de MEGASOREARSE hizo pipi en la caja de las llaves, una cerveza por eso
JUSTIN CASE, as the hare, forgot to lay any CHECK BACKS. …Silly boy
JUSTIN CASE como lievre, olvido de marcar los CHECK BACKS “tonto”
BEST OUTFIT COMPETITION: -
BEST BAG MOTHER. PUSSY GALORE
HORNIEST CHRISTMAS FAIRY… GOLDEN CASCADE
BEST VIRGIN. ESME, granddaughter of STREAKY
MEJOR DISFRAZ DE COMPETITION
MEJOR BOLSO DE SEÑORA… …… PUSSY GALORE
MEJOR ATUENDO DE NAVIDAD………GOLDEN CASCADE
MEJOR VIRGEN ……ESME NIETA DE STREAKY
JIZZICAL FIRK still wants to know why HAPPY ENDING was able to buy a labeled Hash jacket for 100 euro
JIZZICAL FIRK aun quiere saber porque HAPPY ENDING compro la chaquetta parcheada de “HASH BADGES” por 100 euro
SWISS ROLL acting as PISS POURER put the flowers she had gathered into the last of the drinking water so nobody had any to drink…just as well it was not beer
SWISS ROLL actuando como “PISS POURER” con la ultima botella de agua rego las flores asi que nadie pudo beber mas…..mejor que no fuese cerveza
JIZZICAL FIRK and MARCUS SKIDIUS were punished for fouling the trail!!
JIZZICAL FIRK y MARCUS SKIDIUS se castigo por ensuciar el camino
ASIA QUICKSAND had an enormous fascination for all kinds of shit, horse, dog and goat. YOGI had to explain the ins and outs of it so she earned the label (COPROPHILLIA)…. Whilst explaining the finer points of some excellent horseshit by poking it with his stick, he was left talking to himself and approached by PERT ARSE CANT COOK who appreciated YOGIS lecture much to his embarrassment.
ASIA QUICKSAND tenia mucho interes en todo tipos de mierda, ( de caballo,pero y cabra.) YOGI pinchando una mierda de caballo y hablando del tema, pensando que QUICKSAND seguia ahi, pronto se encontro con PERT ARSE CANT COOK muy interesada por cierto pero el muy cortado
SADDLE FLAPS was given the FUCK OFF treatment as she is not coming back but off to another part of the HASH WORLD so we all say GET TO FUCK AND DON’T COME BACK THEN
SADDLE FLAPS recibio el adios (FUCK OFF) porque se fue a otro lugar para hacer EL HASH asi que todos juntos le dijimos “VETE A TOMAR POR CULO Y NO VUELVAS”
After the circle broke up all the HASH HOUSE HARRIERS made their way down to the PARRIPOLLO Restaurant on the Mijas Road for the ON ON Probably around 30 happy Hashers were there to enjoy a very good meal of Salad, Deep Fried Egg plant, Fried eggs and Chips then delicious BBQ Chicken Chunks all washed down with Coca Cola and wine.
Despues del circulo cada cual se fue por su lado y fuimos al restaurant PARRIPOLLO en la carretera de Mijas. Eramos alrededor de trenta hashers, difrutamos de una Buena cena: enslada, huevos y berenjenas fritas , barbacoa de pollo con Coca Cola y vino para beber
So convivial was the atmosphere that DIPPER, encouraged by GORBACHOV, soon burst into song. SEMEN STAINS followed with a local song then FLAKY and DIPPER performed the Barnacle Bill the Sailor to enormous hilarity. Congratulations to them.
Poor old JUSTIN CASE (the hare) really blew it by when asking at the bar for Pacharan was informed there was NONE so he quickly slipped across the road to LIDL to find it closed so he lost brownie points in a big way
By the way, the run earned 8.79 HAPPY ENDING
Hubo un ambiente muy agradable con DIPPER
junto a GORBACHOV quienes empezaron a cantar
les siguio SEMEN STAINS con una cancion local
entonces FLAKY y DIPPER tuvieron exito con
BARNACLE BILL THE SAILOR muy gracioso.
Felicitaciones para ellos
Pobre lievre de JUSTIN CASE, por mucho que pidiera
PACHARAN no hubo nada asi que fue corriendo a
comprarlo al LIDL pero estaba cerrado. Un punto menos para el.
A pesar de todo acumularon 8.79 pts
Run Number 1444- 13th December 2015
The Whopper in the film set run (the Russian Pussy Run)
Big Mac (hamburger) suffering but alive and well enough to set an extensive trail through the hills ,more runners loops to suit all athletic standards with plenty of walkers and a few runners turning up to do him proud.
The Whopper, or Hamburger depending on your preference had stood in at short notice to give us a long run! Pussy the Red Barron had to do the beer run etc but the compromise worked out well, even the weather held out being dry but turning cold later for the circle.
This is traditionally the Xmas Bash recovery run and the turnout was excellent, shame the same effort wasn't shown at the Tamissa Golf as again we struggled to fill four tables with xmas party animals.
Some like Gerry Can flying in from some far distant shore to find himself sat next to a very dandy looking Gangplank in a fetching Red number fresh in from the four euro rack at Cudeca. Shame they had nothing to talk about,jet lag and brain fade are a sorry sight for even my sore eye's. I had driven across the length of spain from freezing fog in the north to 19 deg c in Coin and was still semi hypo from the non stop journey. I had the pleasure of sitting between a fire extinguisher and the vacant seat of stifffanny(her presence still being felt from the sanctuary of the Lions club)
The food was the normal Xmas stuffing and the entertainment far from it! French Erection minus Fork Handles sticking out of her head tried to wow us with her belly dancing,last year we were all in shock, this time I felt it needed spicing up a little and joined her for a portion of Yorkshire style Beer Belly Dancing . Having no formal training but master of improvisation I exposed my ample Belly,encouraged by the clapping crowd I even exposed a little Bear's Arse to complement French Erections exposed flesh. It caused a laugh or two and dragged me from my semi conscious state,as did the "check out the scotsman impersonator" performing a highland number in a tartan skirt doesn't make you a scott!. Seaman Staines in normal attire didn't require any skirt lifting to check his credentials,but the spanish dancer friend of Swiss Roll had more than just myself curious of his true colours.
Another impromptu moment and I was on my back sliding along the dance floor and able to confirm all our thoughts ,This man was a fake Scott!
If speedo made then they had a market here,go faster wangers made for prancing ,a pair of Budgie carriers !
The highlight of the nights entertainment being our GM Jizikle Ferk dressed as that Euro Song Contest winner with the beard,was he from Sweden or Israel?? didn't matter as he had us all around his fingers as he/she slid between the tables singing his sultry song with a hashy twist, well done that Thing?
Flakey did a bit of stand up telling scouser tales from old and I felt the empty chair next to me move, as Stiffanny gave him encouragement from the lion's club pen.
By far the best all night was Izzy inyet doing the flamenco with the gay waiter,what a pair of movers and a great way to finish our xmas ball.
Well done all the team involved in organization,with special thanks to the school trophy's loaned for this occasion, so every outstanding hasher could,at least be presented with a token of their appreciation for contribution to the success of the Mijas Hash House Harriers. Best shortcutting Hare going to Mummy s Boy for the second year running now,and Im sure for a number of years to come.
That's my boy and one to follow if you fancy an easy ride,just what I needed on the last day of my course of Antibiotics for a chest infection brought over from the UK. How those legs keep moving is something we could all learn from,but Karma Chameleon has met his match here,first to the beer stop was the goal but we had to settle for 5th and 6th as Jizikle was showing a clean pair of heels to Reimus the Lithuanian brought on his first run by Ruskie Puskie. Not one for being last and I expect a Baltic Front Running Bastard in the making. Justin and the other Baltic Flyer Fuckademas or whatever he is called romping passed Mummy's boy and myself just before the Beer Stop, manned by the Pink Baron and Gangplank taking it easy on his first run out post Malaga Hospital forced sleepover.
Izzy inyet came in soon after and was over the moon she was up with the FRB's, all that flamenco is obviously good hash training!
We collected Gangplank and headed back to the circle via some more excellent marking by our hare Big Whopper !
By the time the pack had returned it was getting cool in the Hills above Coin. I had four layers on and was still feeling the chill, a welcome hug from Ruskie Puskie took off the edge but it still felt chilly round the nether regions. Masterbates fresh from his epic drive from Sweden was insisting on punishing us all with terrible Eurotrash umpah dross music throbbing from his little BMW convertible, the RA Flakey soon put a stop to that shite! "shut the Swedish wank music off"or words to that effect and the woods where silent again.
Some poor hashers had to endure down downs of cold beer for not being there last week(me included) having done X amount of runs ,some entitling them to a badge of merit,but only one between two so causing a rush to claim the said badge . Saddle bags (or is it Flaps)? being the winner and sadly on her last but one hash with us before moving to Birmingham UK . Good luck there as the accent is one of the worst ever.
Reimus was called in as all virgins are to check it was hard enough etc ,when asked who he had come with his reply was classic Hash speak, "Russian Pussy" was the reply pointing at his girlfriend Ruskie Puskie , her dimples receded a little more into her cheeks as she frowned at his reply.
The score tally well up gave Mr Whopper a grand 8.9 for his stirling effort. The on on was las Morenas by the BP Garage with a warm welcoming fire and hearty food to warm us through.
till the next time
The Rev George Mooney Retired also answers to Yogi
Run Number 1443- 6th December 2015 - Verifuckus & Swiss roll
Run Number 1442- 29th November 2015 - Pussy Galour & 1-tit
Another beautiful sunny late autumn afternoon...actually ideal for an interesting and challenging "Mother Nature Trail"...
However the birthday girl and her seasoned co-bunny adviser had something even
more "challenging " organised...to make this town run at least an interesting one...
which it was...
A lot of effort was put in to familiarise the hashers with numerous streets, corners
and small hidden parks...a quite different perspective for us, who normally see those parts from behind a steering wheel...
To make matters even more difficult and to get a really good insight knowledge of
the town, an uncountable high number of Xs, Fs and CBs were added...and
to make this maze even more confusing, answers - to the handed out questionnaire - had to be found and noted...like for spec. sights, monuments, animals, car wash
The time consuming 'check breaking' and 'fact gathering' tasks spread the pack
fairly out...however at the Cava and BS always reunited...and arrived more or less together back at the cars...
A fast setting sun and dropping mercury accelerated a well managed and lively entertaining circle by GM and the other well known masters of the art...the hares
efforts were awarded with 7.4 points...the anniversaries got their well earned badges...
price for the winner of the quiz with quite some questions raised...and other ceremonies, all of course with the obligatory down downs...and then the highlight
of the day...not forgotten, but reserved as the finale...the birthday cake for the
birthday girl...and how eager the master baker and all his helpers were to add and
mix all the ingredients and to knead the dough...what a messy cake...congratulations
to the birthday girl how she took it...but by then it was already pitch dark and cold enough to close the circle and to retreat to the restaurant. Thanks!
This link is our Facebook page. Photos here. https://www.facebook.com/groups/MijasHHH/?fref=ts
Run Number 1441- 22nd November 2015 - Izzy
Run Number 1440- 15th November 2015 - 5 Mil
Mijas Run 1440 Sunday 15th November 2015
Hare :-Five Mil
A lovely sunny afternoon left home 3.30pm to go to the run plenty of time as it appeared it was only 5 minutes away from home, arrived 40 minutes later, Having gone around in ever increasing circles to find the venue a trend that continued throughout and so yours truly inherited the honour as this week´s scribe.
Being late I did miss a fair amount of what had taken place in the opening circle, however I was there in time for the minutes silence that was observed in remembrance of those who lost their lives in Paris last Friday
The run was mainly through side roads dry river bed, grass and dirt tracks and I think it was about 8 to 10 kilometres. In the main a very flat trail that had several twists and turns with false trails conflicting checks and check backs.
At the beer stop it was good to see the virgins from last week had made it for their first drink having disappeared for the entire run last week.
The run having been completed the circle was convened and the GM welcomed the two visitors from the City of London Hash “Sir Hump A Lot” and a friend.
The WM asked everyone to comment and score the run
Comments made were:-
Poor signage to the run.
Conflicting signs on the trail. Checks and Check Backs leading to confusion as to the direction to take, those following behind the front runners were even more confused by the way the signs had been altered.
Shortage of flour etc
It was a runners run
The final score being 7.1
Anniversaries for the following hashers:-
Mega Sore Arse 10 runs
Master Bates 35 runs
Aphrodisiac 210 runs
Up Your Bum 580 runs
RA took over the circle accompanied by his funky chicken and continued in his own inimitable way to invite fellow hashers into the circle for a number of reasons to pay penance for their follies.
GM returned to close the circle.
Scribe:- Mega Sore Arse
Run Number 1439- 8th November 2015 - Dogsy & Mary
Run Number 1438- 1st November 2015 - Dipper
Run Number 1437- 25th Oct 2015 Run Number 1437- 25th Oct 2015
“Hashers and harriettes went up the hill to find a big long falsie, they nearly broke their Crown and then came tumbling down after”
Most of this summarises what happened in Gangbang´s and UYB´s run. We were promised no falsies, no checkbacks and an easy run. Needless to say that was all a big big lie and when the trail started to head up to Swissy´s beerstop, some hashers including myself decided to take a much flatter and alternative route. Soon after we arrived to the beer stop, where Gobbichov was pouring some blackcurrant vodka which was actually very nice. Soon after Mummy´s boy appeared having done his own route on the road as usual.
The FRB´s arrived to the beer stop cursing seeing that a whole bunch of hashers had decided to avoid the “scenic route”. It was even made worse when the lazy hashers made jokes and then French erection said she loved the climb.
Several people were punished for their weekly sins. I can only remember I got punished for having a rant in IKEA as the thing I wanted to buy did not match with the aisle I was in…just only to realize I was looking at the example!
I have heard the Italian restaurant was excellent and that everybody enjoyed a lovely meal
Izzy in yet
Run Number 1436 - 18th Oct 2015 Kindergarten
Finca Antonio, Carraterra de Mijas
Kindergarten Cop & French Erection
Last to pay Guest fees so got pinpointed as the Scribe for the run. Bugger! That means I might actually have to pay attention to the same old BS at the circle. Rather than just do my usual – day dream (I’m not admitting to ADHD), drink beer, maybe some vino if there are any on offer, munch on crisps and doritos when the bag makes a pass again my way, laugh on cue (when everyone else is laughing) ‘til its time to go (for the much awaited OnOn <yay!>).
Maybe I’ll actually take some notes.
The run started well enough with an up hill trot. Then down hill, then up hill again. Then up, up, up, then down, down down, then up, around, then down, down up, up, up , down, up, up down,down up. That might have been a check. Maybe there were a couple more. Now up, up and up. -Beer stop at an abandoned dilapidated old graffiti filled finca, groovy as the fashionably dressed hare manning the BS. Also another interesting abandoned finca nearby a tower. We are told to go around and avoid the men with guns – Next, Down, down, up, down, Off Paper, up, up, down, up, up , UP, UP, UP. Second Beer Stop. Now DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, Up, Up, Down, Turn, Down, Level ground -> ON IN Home. Despite all the old farts out there with the wonky knees and old war injuries worthy of purple hearts - complaining about too many hills, not enuf paper/checks and alternate easy trails for the infirmed - it was actually, A Jolly Good Run Indeed, with lots of great views, and much more deserving of the overall 7.7 points given later at the circle. My 5th Run with MijasH3, and the coolest weather wise, a welcome change to the last 4 very hot and sunny runs, be it Cloudy With A Chance of Screwballs.
GM calls in MoreIn, our only virgin this run. What do you think, More in? She reckoned she was not getting it Long nor Hard enough. Whilst in the background, Pussy Galore does it doggy style in her car. Em, no, Pussy Galore’s dogs do it doggy style in her car. Er wait, was it the Pussy or the Doggy?
Returnees – Karma Chameleon, Golden Cascade, Gang Bang, Brian, Wooden Twat
Anniversarios – Saddle Flaps 25, Just In 155, Yogi Bear 170, Karma Chameleon 340, Swiss Roll 430 – Is this what it all life comes down to in Andalucia?
Run rating – More like run ranting. There were a few 5s and some 7s, 8s and some 9s, lots of complaints and some compliments, and so an overall 7.7.
Thin strips of recycled shredded paper was used by the environmentally friendly hares. GM deemed it shitty a shitty run, and Just Saying Gwen said that there was not enough paper to make it more visible, but remarked, “I saw a lot of li’l peppers stuff’d in ‘oles”.
Still say it was a good run!
-Sir Flakey is complimented on his excellent parallel parking technique, no wheel turning required. Just go up and over the curb. Be sure to be driving a 4X4.
-Quicksand was called in for swinging dogs away with a stick.
-$5060.21 has been raised for Cudeca at the Red Dress Run. More hashers are brought in and punished for wearing their Red Dresses or not wearing their red dresses. I can’t remember which, but there were a lot of guys in the circle. Just In tries to get away with it by insisting that the oversized red tee shirt with zig-zaggedy scissor-cuts at the hem he wore at the RDR and in the circle then, is a dress.
-Drop In guests given a down down – Messy Farny, Frilly Knickers, Joanne the Virgin, and I-Cant-Remember-Me-Name-Jane
(Note: Flakey, Malfunction and I skipped the OnOn, so we could head to dinner with Stiffany, but we got waylaid by the DropIn guests who then forced on us copious amounts of vino at their house after the circle, and then some. My very scribbly circle notes suffered a dunking so I its gotten harder to read. So herein lies what I could retrieve from my very blur notes)
-there was something mentioned about the Rugby and there were many sorry asses. Down Down to all of them.
-Down down to Two Pies for mistaking Yogi for a harriet.
-Alzheimers award given to Doo-Doo-Dinky-Sore-Arse (I think they said it was his name), for forgetting his name. Or was it Do-you-think-he-saw-us? Do-you-sink-this-sore-arse? Dew-ewe-fink-kiss-walrus? Do you…?
-Down down to Pussy Galore for bringing lazy dogs to the circle.
- For Sir Flakey, Gang plank and Yogi Bear: There’s a lot of money spent on research on erectile dysfunction and not enough on Alzheimers. What’s the point of inventing Viagra without the pill to cure Alzheimers, be it momentarily. You can get a hard on anytime with Viagra, but what’s the point when you cant remember what to do with it?
-Sir Flakey and King Cnut for not having the good presence of mind of looking under a parked car for the arrows thus going off trail. Note for Next time: Do not forget to look under the car. More money to alzheimers research please.
-KingCnut, Golden Cascade suspiciously having colds at the same time – both must have been kissing Karma Chameleon.
-Swiss Roll and Very Fuckus – for being cheapskates… (can’t read the rest of my what I wrote)
-GM for being a disgrace to modern men. Not being metrosexual at all for not being able to sew properly.
-Gang Plank got a down down – cant remember what he was in for,
-DooDooDinkySoreUs is called back in and renamed Mega Sore Arse. Someone thinks we should revise the Black Hole Theory now. ‘Have you been there?’
Malfunction steps in circle with big gash on shin. Claims he fell over when he overheard Pushy Galore say, “I can feel a prick between my thigh”, as he was Coming up Behind her.
Yogi Bear calls More In in. Also claims he overheard her say, “I’m going to slide down on my arse,” when he closed in behind her.
Karma Chameleon confesses that he used to be an alcoholic and since he’s switched to drinking brake fluid he can’t stop.
Run Number 1435 - 11th Oct 2015 _ Red Dress Run
And so after a weekend of merriment, Friday Night Pub
Crawl, Saturday Malaga Run and Dinner and lots of alcohol (don't know which one
came first), the Red Dress Run brings this three day marathon to a close.
Someone upstairs was looking down on us because as we started the run, the rain stopped as the red swarm of dresses took over Los Boliches and Fuengirola through the Feria for the afternoon, bringing joy and emptying pockets everywhere in aid of Cudeca Hospice.
All of the women looked elegant in their red dresses and most of the men looked ridiculous in theirs (apart from Conchita of course) but nobody cared as people were wanting their photo with the one that looked the most convincing Tranny (mainly me worryingly so). With many Cudeca stops and Song Checks the pack of red dresses was kept together, Puff the magic Dragon made his mark with many new songs.. Allowing many to shake their bootie, upside down brolleys were even used to collect donations from people hanging out on their balconies looking at the show we were putting on, a feast for their eyes.
Back at the circle we had an Auction, selling, hash trainers and two marvellous Red hash dresses hand made by our very own WWWW including bids by telephone from America we raised 415 euros..Pussy Galore brought back presents from her last trip and in true Rota style, our American hashers showed us more than their naval base but at least kept us abreast of their whereabouts and had the balls to do so !! And secured the lot..
A great finale was held at La Luna Restaurant with such massive yorkshire puddings not much else that could fit on the plate!!! A raffle was held, then many more songs and dancing lead by Puff, Beau Giste, One tit and Squeeze my tits.. a great time was had by one and all raising a total of 4560.21euros. An amazing effort from all involved and a big thank you from the patients and staff at Cudeca Hospice. Without fundraising events like this, Cudeca simply wouldn't exist. Thank you all.
Not Yet and Pussy Galore aka the Pink Baron.
For Carlos White
Run Number 1434 - 4th Oct 2015
Run Number 1433 - 27th Sept 2015
Hares Li lo, Eggshell and stiffany (with hangover)
The Cocks in the Campo Run
Why cock shorts were handed out to certain male attendees is beyond me, and to most female hashers whos eyes didnt know where to look!
The run was to celebrate Li Lo Lills 60th birthday and to raise awareness of breast cancer, also to raise money for Egg Shell Blonds Algerian bank scam.
The old familier faces and a few new climed the hill by Mijas Golf following the best HHH signs I have seen. Bright red on a white back ground even my pilot for the day Sir Sparky and navigator HMV could spot at 100 mtrs. We had unknown to each other booked the same Hotel in down town Fuengirola. I was trying to recover from a 2500mile motorcycle blast across northern Spain and down Portugal and they were on the last night of a month long exodus back to the home turf of Southern Spain.
The sight of Two pies and Flakey with semi errect rubber cocks poking rom blue checkered shorts was our greeting to this hill top gathering. Li Lo insisted we kitted out with the same as part of the "theme" as some female hashers had pink police hats on, was it the cock police? who knows.
Egg shell deciding to wear his shorts on his head to prove to us all what a Dick head he really is!
As the gathering crowd mingled the GM jisikle Ferk called us all to order and form a circle I was stunned to be stood next to a rather voluptuous Blown a seal, who was so happy to be 19 weeks pregnant . Not half as happy as we all were to see her blossoming out all over.
Then we were away dicks dangling in the sunshine. we soon split up into our various packs to follow the flour marked trail, willy wanker and I bringing up the rear!
The Beer stop was full of thirsty hashers being replenished with ample refreshments, Up your bum was in the perfect position to give my rubber extension a close inspection, our difference in high tempting her to drink from the fountain.
Away we went to the Tinto Verano stop complete with sticky tarts and stuff, more calories for my expanding waist line. Oh the joys of Hashing!
We old farts managed to blag a short cut and the end was soon in sight.
The hot weather prompted the GM to introduce a Rotate to the right by three steps between punishments, down downs and other such frolockings. The germans gaining special attention due to the recent VW emissions scandal and anyone owning a vehicle with VW underpinings.
Egg shells new "holiday Car" being a 10mtr long Audi Q7.99567333 recuring getting the dick head down down for replacing his BMW holiday car for one from such a cheap skate company as VW.
Brown skid - 15 (feels like a lot more)
One tit -75 (feels like a lot less)
King Canute - 95 (could be alot more)
Jisikle Ferk - 185 (should be alot more)
uncle fester -185 (is more or less)
HMV - 150 (understandably a lot less)
The RA Justin cleaned our souls and called all the Hard on boys into the circle to perform the dick swing compertition judged by ???? a woman hasher!
Aphrodisiac the cool duchman used to hanging loose won by a short head! Who said Head?
Two pies confessed to taking a pee with the wronge dick and wetting his pants.
Mummys boy just enjoyed dangling
Fakey had a hard on by watching Blown a seal adjusting her tee shirt
I had two on and no body spotted either of them.
Sir Sparky inserted a stick in his to provide a little support.
More songs and mayhem
Blown a seal had confessed that Alex WTF is Alex had been concered about the cost of having a baby,the price of nappies being his major concern. they both checked out at the local super market and seing the price dived straight in. I suported their desision by saying the price of milk wouldn't be a problem, my coment the RA pulled us both in for a down down, one I was pleased to accept.
more moves to the right and a few Goriller down downs to waist time before the On On
The scorring was a complete fix as bribes had been dished out from Egg Shells off shore Algerian slush fund to ensure a fitting and proper score for the hash, 9.567333 recuring
well done Li Lo Egg and stiff(with less of a Hangover)
The On On at La Luna was a sellout success as this was also from Egg shells Algerian scam fund.
Li Lo made an emotional speech on surviving cancer and how important capturing life is, and how lucky she is to have such a great bunch of hashing friends,two false boobs and a new tummy.
Even the normal tight bastards contributing to her increasing collection for cancer charity BRA,started when in the UK celibrating her 60th birthday,one milestone she feels so lucky to have achieved. Even my impromtu back scuttling during her speach could not distract her from her heart felt rendition on the importance of funding to help change peoples lives.
well done Li lo (she never felt a thing) hope Egg shell can perform better than me.
Another great but slightly hazy day
some get bigger and some get smaller, some go grey and some go balder, some grow a beard and some shave,some stay the same but thats Ok .
We are all hashers and we don't care, I can't spell but only Justin will tell me. (i can't find the spell check)
its whats inside thats matters.
Run Number 1432 - 20th Sept 2015
Run Number 1431 - 13th Sept 2015
Run Number 1430 - 6th Sept 2015 - Hares: Just in
School girls in the mist run
21 hashers met up near the Mijas quarry on a misty September morning in tartan skirts, braces and geeky glasses. Our GM thought it was another perfect excuse to fulfil his feminine side and looked like a brunette Britney Spears gone wrong. We had a virgin called Clive and we were told later that he is Community Chest´s husband. Off we went into the woods skiving school and looking for the tuck shop beer stop. As the first part was uphill, the hashers at the end of the pack, had a very good view of some harriet´s legs. Fortunately the trail was quite flat and not up towards the quarry and it would have been a run with amazing views if it had not been for the mist. The tuck shop beer stop had gummy bears and liquorice, yum!
Down the hill, we got a bit lost as there was hardly any flour, but we managed to get to the second beer stop, where we realized Mummy´s boy was missing! Certain harriets and their dogs decided to do a bit of cheating and go straight to the cars. At the circle our virgin passed his name test with flying colours and was rewarded with a down down. The run was awarded an 8.4, with hashers highlighting the amazing views.
The on on was in Just in´s local restaurant, with promise of pacharán for his birthday.
Izzy in yet
Run Number 1429 - 30th August 2015 - Hares: Golden Cascade and Speedbumps
A great Run - awarded prestigious HASHSHIT for outstanding haring abilities
We turned up behind the Mijas Hotel at 4pm and I, who lived nearest, duly arriveed last so am doing this write up.
But that is fine as this is exactly my sort of hash involving...
Trails I have never done before in the area I live
Some real challenges to get the blood going
Copious amounts of beer at 2 beer stops
Greta meal in my local restaurant (even though some swine ate my fish!)
Exclusive “scribe only” trail on the mountain side
Two stunning harriettes who promosed certain earhgly pleasures if this write up pleased them!! (I can dream can’t I?)
At the start of the run we had a minute’s silence for a harriette sadly deceased and we had one virgin so we duly said all our names for the test later
The trail initially passed through parts of Mijas we are all familiar with before heading past La Fuente restaurant and heading for the hills. At this point it got interesting! We took a goat track over a concrete bridge and headed higher – not an easy trail. Eventually this led to a CheckBack but I guessed we were heading for the church in the hills and went up not down. This took me, after a bit of a scramble, to a good path with floor on it.
I turned left and met another hasher heading towards me. This was confusing and we both thought we were on the right trail going the right way. It took a lot of questioning of the hares to work out it was a false trail from the church that I had found by going higher instead of back – but one of the nicest trials on the run.
Anyway we then got to the church, went ever higher and the less enthusiastic brethren rather sensibly turned back. We finally got to the quarry with the first beer stop a little further on. After that the return to the car park was fairly uneventful albeit with another beer stop by the bull ring.