Run - 1829 - 13th November 2022
Mijas Hash 1829
La Cala Ferrier Ground
13-11-2022
15.00
Hares
BIG Brother & BIG Mouth
THE VIKING INVASION
The choice of venue for the circle was not
coincidental.... the Vikings arrive by Motorhomes in the 21st century, and there were many linned up behind us watching on from the comfort of their Home on wheels. Many had been recruited by our Swedish Hares to experience the unique "thing" that is our Mijas running club with a drinking problem.
Golden Cascade was Hash Cash extracting our 5 Euros for the run, and payment for our Christmas Ball in less than four weeks time. She was almost wetting herself with the plesure of handling so much Cash, her eyes lit up like $ & £ signs as she felt the power that only hard Cash can bring, I can still smell it.
My total was 119 euros as paying for friends, she tried for a 1 euro tip out of my 120 on offer,
from someone trained by Karma Kameleon on the art of avoiding tips,she knew straight away I
would be insisting on my 1 euro change. OH Its good to be back amongest the Mijas jet set.
The Circle assembled was one full of strangers, and once called in by the GM, Sandra Bollocks
had a job to control the new Virgin Hashers excitment of doing something new and hearing
all our Hash names as we took turns to introduce ourselves. Rub Her Turd and
Salmomela Rushdi always raising a chuckle on hearing for the first time, up your bum was
absent ,as was Dogs Bollocks from last weeks hares so things could have been worse for our
new Virgins, the only problem being they all had been tasked to remember three of our names at
the end of the trail, had we got enough regular Hashers to choose,and would there be enough
beer to go around. Then they were off..... scattering virgins and
Hahers in the direction of La Cala via the river bed and through the back streets of the town,
this i'm aware of as I followed them the day after. My hash trail incorprating my injured left knee
on my trusty folding bike was going to be a virtual Hash. Weaving my way through the
ferrier ground and back tracking to the second Beer stop was all I was capable of, but I was
with them in spirit as La Cala and surounding area is my stomping ground and the basis of
most of my Hash Trails over the last 15 years. My Yorkshire Hash mate ROCKY had recently
purchaced two chineese walking poles and was eager to try them out, unfortunatley not a
matching pair, a term that could be easily be used to discribe him, i'm sure these would have
been broken in gentley,even if one was longer than the other, as the trail scrambled up towards
the Donky sanctury before the first Beer stop, then down down down to the Cava stop near to
the school and sports ground on the edge of town,this is where I joined the herd of
murauding Vikings on the last assult on the town, most were still on two feet and still in
good cheer, probably on a high from a mixture of adrenalin and alcohol and a little pillaging
down La Rosa valley. When we all arrived back at the circle Colonic
had been been busy trying to make sence of all the new faces, he had become almost family to
Rocky having had to listen to his tales of woe being Dusty Grandad of the Yorkshire Hash.
Knowing how the Cardinal works this did'nt bode well,hollow legs helps in a situation like
this and a good supply of Beer. The GM called in the Virgins and the process of
filling the circle began, there must have been 12 virgins each calling in 3 hashers they could
remember, towards the end of this process the unfortunate "Billy no mates" who had'nt been
called looking forlorn and dejected at not being remembered.
Probabley he biggest "down down" in Mijas Hash history, fortuneatley the beer supplies held
out. Once the Cardinal was called in to clense our sins the supply of beers kept flowing, wearing
his customary Nazi helmet and strutting around the circle giving out orders and telling the tale
on his beligard wife, poor Gangbang always has a reason to be called in for one reason or
another,this time it was for leaving her trusty Rabbit in the marital bed, this she remembered
as they were leaving for the Hash,i'm sure the cleanig lady would have seen worse things in
the course of her duties, but hey ho, lets not stop Colonic when he's on a role.
Others called in were of course our Viking Hares for the splendid trail, returners and
virgins,visitors and any wafes and strays picked up along the way. Fortunatley the normal Ice Block had melted and was poured onto the floor, this being the punishment if you spoke out of turn or in
anyway tried to up stage the RA, a Cardinal sin of the highest order. This threat kept most people in check, but poor Rocky is deaf and hypo active and can not keep quiet,or still for that matter, plenty of Beer
coming his way,and being a Yorkshire Hasher was very gratfull he managed to get value for
money from his 5 euro Hash Fee. No Gays on the Hash rule was enforced when
Kaka Maps was called in with a visitor for sexual improprioty in the circle, surely this boy is still
too young for legalised shenanagins. Start them young is always the Cardinals philosophy, in a
few years time he will be having his hair parted in the most delightful way. How many F's are there in South End? I digress, after all this I was reminded it was three years since Mummys Boy decided to
check out on me, he will be happy as we shared another down down together , but also a stark
reminder that life is so fragile and we should all enjoy what time above ground we have. "He's
Fat he's round, he should be under ground,Mummy's Boy,Mummy's Boy" ON on to the Pura Asia for a mountain of food that only hungry hashers can devour, my cookery planing was thrown out when there was no left overs for me to take home, either the Viking Hashers have a healthy appetite or due to
global supply chain,post Pandemic, Putin induced inflationary pressures had made the
portions more managable for "Normal People" Anyway as always a great way to end a Hash
TILL THE NEXT TIME
Yogi Bear
ON ON
Aniversarios etc etc I have absolutley no idea
but nobody gives a dam anyway.
Yogi Bear
