Run - 1863 - 18th June 2023 Midsummer Run

Big brother and big mouth

Hell Vera not the longest run of the year, not the flattest, and not the driest, but the longest day of

the year run.

Hash run 1863

18/06/23

The Swedish IOU 50 euro midsummer’s

Flower and Frog dance handicap with 20 runners and 2 hares.

It was always going to be a three horse race once the circle formed and we all were able

to check out the competition, the only outsider being the wild card entry from Tokyo ladies hash.

Cathouse looks like a contender but on unfamiliar loose ground she was not going to upset the

Bet Fred form of our top three FRBs, but to what order they would arrive at the beer stop was the

big question.

After the customary photo shoot from Kakamaps they were off, mummy’s boy and

myself had insider knowledge of how to stagger to the beer stop, we set off with Salmonella

senior in what turned out to be a 20 minute journey of mixed 4x4 terrain but with only 3 good

legs between us and 3 walking aids it felt a lot longer than it really was. As we waited for the

calls of “on on” from the Campo the familiar figure of Rushti junior came into view, he was out

to impress his dad as he strolled across the line ahead of Bloody Pinocchio and SARS who all

insisted had followed the trail once they had quenched their thirst and started questioning their

performance in tactics of tackling the trail. They are far too competitive and after realizing this

just accepted its all part of the fun getting lost and making a complete balls up. One good thing

this week was no dogs on the Hash, not even Dogs bollocks or Dog face were out on trail,as

predicted Cathouse came in fourth place before all the remaining pack came into view to

recharge from the cool boxes. The rain tried a few times as large droplets fell on odd parts of my

body, but not enough to call rain as the ground looked like Spanish ground does in late June,

hard and dryer than the back of from behinds tongue. ABBA suddenly appeared from nowhere as

Euro thumping music blasted from the beer wagon, suddenly the Swedish started Frog dancing

and shuffling around in circles, strange actions to the rest of us, but apparently quite normal and

traditional if you’re from Sweden.

No hanging around for the Swedish hares and off they shot to the second beer stop. Again

insider knowledge of its location but this wasn’t enough to tempt Mummy and I from getting

comfortable at the circle after another Herculean effort to get back safely from the beer stop.

Salmonella senior had sprinted ahead and after watering the plants was happy just to hang

around looking a little out of place in his Iranian strolling out gear, with matching shoulder bag

and mustache.

Soon the calls came closer and Bloody Pinocchio appeared as normal with not a drop of

sweat expelled from his under stressed frame. Salmonella and SARS wearing a fetching little

flower head band following on behind. Soon we were overwhelmed with thirsty Hashers coming

in from every angle all demanding refreshments. Somehow I managed to become the custodian

of half a bottle of Cava, Masterbates would be envious of my predicament and for some reason I

don’t understand, I had to drink it all myself.

Sandra Bollocks had to bring some order to the proceedings as she abruptly ended the

circle sliding into a Swedish smorgasbord of assorted Beverage’s mixed with crisps.

Visitors and virgin Hashers are always welcome, the Cathouse from Tokyo and our New

virgins Jorun and Svarve from Norway I believe. More vikings are always welcome as my

family DNA has 8% of viking flowing through my veins which is quite obvious when standing

next to our virgins, and definitely no Far Eastern connections to Tokyo. From behind is

definitely not from oriental stock either and can squash the understanding that the Mongolian

empire was supposed to have procreated most of the northern hemisphere!

Scandinavia is a special place and a little part of it was in Elviria today,well done hares

and all who dressed in blue and yellow to celebrate this special day. A special mention for SARS

who wore the Krans flowering head gear and demonstrated a little of the frog dancing.

The score allocated was a handsome 9.1 and a few anniversaries are as follows.

From behind (not left behind) 190

Bloody Pinocchio 105

Suxit &inside her 45

Big mouth 30

Lily savauage 10

Not left behind was the RA today and dished out an assortment of punishment and

rewards for various reasons, only he can understand and fortunately many Scandinavian people

present were able to understand as most of them got a down down.

Before we could say “pour me another Cava “ the circle was closed and we all hurried off

to little India by various routes non more hairy than going under the tunnel not advised by Jerry

Can who was organising a convoy to avoid this hazard. Mummy’s Boy knows best and Before I

could think about my Chicken Jalfrasi and a pint of Mahou I was being dumped outside after an

exciting journey under the N340 with just enough room for a VW Golf if we both held are breath

and crossed our legs, something neither of us were able to perform with any dignity.

The curry was a fine way to enjoy our little taste of Swedish tradition and after a few

adjustments was more than what I was expecting, Mummy and I even enjoyed a Baileys on ice

on the house after all the others had left.

On on to the next Hash

Yogi Bear