Run - 1901 - 10 March 2024

Date: 10th March, 2024

Hares: Just Say When and Clit Hero Kid

Run Number: 1901

Location: Calahonda

Number of Hashers: 30

Virgins: 0

Visitors: 1

Run Score: 9.something

Anniversaries: Pepper Corns 25, Pearl Necklace 40, Sandra Bollox 110, Kindergarten (get a life) Cop 740

Report:

As we were standing around at the start I felt a tap on my shoulder, and then an Irish

brogue asking, “Can you be the scribe next week?” “Sure” I said, “but what about this

week?” “Oh, I mean this week.” Glad we got that settled otherwise there would have

been no scribe, and two scribes for the Paddy’s Day run.

The hares then proceeded to explain all the markings to us in great detail even though we

had already ascertained that there were no virgins. But then there were some more,

unusual details. You get three points for an inflated football, two for a deflated football

and one for a tennis ball. But no points for a potato.

The trail started quite a bit south of the AP7 despite the hares assuring next week’s hares

that they wouldn’t venture south of said road, thereby screwing up next week’s run that

STTI and Ricochet had spent weeks planning. Shortly after setting off we were

introduced to the fact that when the trail turns it won´t necessarily be marked. Not

difficult to solve if you’re at a corner and there are only two options but a bit more

problematic when you’re running along the side of a river with huge gaps between marks

and no obvious place for the trail to turn. Eventually someone saw what might be a small

path the other side of the, fortunately dry, river. Another bit of ingenious marking was a

check which had both Bad Weasel and me calling on on only for the two of us to meet.

Later, at dinner, Clit Hero Kid (been hashing for six weeks) explained to me (30 plus

years) the art of setting trail. “You don’t want to make it too easy.” I beg to differ. Apart

from checks, splits and check backs it should be very clear where the trail is going.

However, there were some good checks, made difficult by incompetent checking by the

pack. On one Atame called on on up a hill. “The bloke with the ponytail is calling on on”

he said. So we carried on as there were a couple or marks but nothing else and Bad

Weasel had disappeared into the distance. After a while we assumed either Atame had

been mistaken or Bad Weasel was following thin air. By now most of the pack had

reached the top of the hill and had to go back down again to find true trail.

Eventually the macho trail went under the AP7 and up and up and up and up to where, in

Colonic’s words, we could tickle God’s feet. Beautiful views and very windy at the top

so Kindergarten Cop decided to have a pee. Those gathered ten meters away thought it

had started to rain. From the beer stop there was no place to go but down, down, down,

down, down. This consisted of some nasty downhill through some woods with no path

and then down a main road with hardly a hard shoulder to speak of. The trail then led to

some tennis courts and disappeared. After much hunting around we went back to the

main road and found trail there. By this time the pack was well spread out and the wimps

had been at the cava stop for an hour. And then another piece of great trail marking. I

started to realize that this part of the trail looked very familiar. I was back on the out trail.

That’s what happens if you don´t mark corners. I bumped into another couple of machos

and we followed the out trail back to the start.

Too late to wait for all the machos to get back so we started the circle without them. After

the regular circle we had the award ceremony for ball collecting, easily won by Garden

Stool who had nicked a football from a couple of kids and then picked up all the loose

balls at some tennis academy. Great hash, great work out on the macho trail. Big thanks

to the hares.

On On, Dogface

Postscript

It turns out something happened on trail that came to light later in the week on a

Facebook group, Sitio de Calahonda. Someone asked if anyone else had seen white

powder in the area. Suggestions were that it might be poison or it might be indicating

unoccupied houses so that burglars know which ones to break into. A couple of posts

explained that it was flour marking a running trail, to which a couple of people suggested

we use maps. Someone said he approached the person putting down the flour and he

became aggressive and walked away. Doesn’t sound like hash behavior. We are all warm,

cuddly people. Anyway, maybe it’s better to use chalk in urban areas. Less likely to be

mistaken for poison.