Run - 1964 - 11th May Granada 1st anniversary Away Weekend
1st Birthday Party Run for Granada H3
- Sunday Granada 14 runs & Mijas 1964 runs for the “Hare of the Dog” Run
by Shaggy, Scribe of Dedicated Hashers!
If you have not yet hashed in Granada, here’s a taste. (And if you were there for the 1st Anniversary... this will fill in the gaps you can’t remember.)
Crooner-19 and I arrived at the Sunday “Hare of the Dog” Circle at 11:01 to find it had already begun at 11:00.
Called to order by Sandra Bollocks, whose punctuality apparently runs like a Swiss watch with a beer tap.
Instead of getting wasted, I was forced to retain a few functioning brain cells (yes, the last ones) to scribe this.
Few hashers were ready for From Behind’s revenge trail disguised as “a hangover-friendly stroll." Who, by the way, hangs keys on coat hangers to remember where they are??? Asking for a hasher.
The trail started just beneath the Alhambra Palace, a majestic choice until From Behind and 3 Minutes Puttitat decided we hadn’t suffered enough.
Cue the Death by 10,000 Steps – Part II. Up we climbed, past stone, sweat, and regrets, until we were practically eye level with the snowcaps of the Sierra Nevada.
Any hangovers were either cured... or claimed lives. Rick O’Shea disappeared at one point, we assumed he was dead. Or peeing.
The Tokyo and Tokyo Ladies hashers, bless them, flew 10 hours to Takeshi's Castle! What a reward on Sunday: up through the Albaicin, past the gypsy caves, and on to a mobile mast with views so stunning,
even the jaded Mijas hashers were speechless (briefly).
At the Beer Stop, more tapas magically appeared again because in Granada, no hasher starves. But the descent? My ears popped so hard I thought I was on a Ryanair flight to Málaga, minus the screaming toddlers. Although hashers do make a good noisy substitute.
ON ON! Every twist of this trail was `photo worthy, if only we’d had the sobriety to focus our phones.
Hares’ phones and WhatsApp now contain the lost art collection of 40 odd hashers’ sweaty faces + 10,000 staircase selfies. Our magnificent A-to-B finale brought us to a private house in the old Moorish
quarter. While Just Keiko hosted the hashers in a gorgeous courtyard.
We confused the neighbours, and a Circle got into full shenanigans-mode. Enter His Worshipfulness, the RA Colonic Irrigation: launching punishments, threats of the unmentionables, and beginning (as all
good RAs do) by declaring the previous day’s run "Averaaaaage."From there, it escalated: With confessions of Gang Bang banging on every door, while Clonk drunkenly swore at a wardrobe and demolished his
hotel suite. Aguasex, blacked out but somehow found Smiler and started kicking her. Oh the joy of teetotaling in a city made entirely of alcohol. Rick O’Shea reportedly peed across several postal codes. French
Erection gave hashers crisps that had previously met the floor. The Circle also included: World War flashbacks, Pearl Harbour PTSD, and Clonk v. Japan (round 2). There were enough down-downs on ice to
numb a whole rugby team’s arses. But THEN came the pièce de résistance. The RA of the Drunken Bull Hash. This man makes the Mijas RA look like a choir boy. He told Mijas to shut the fuck up and listen. He
introduced the Camel Toe Drinking Test. Crooner 19 froze and couldn't get down! Aguasex drank from Crooner’s camel toe like a pro and probably needs counselling now. We all do. Next came the Kilt or Skirt?
competition. Granada Hares could’ve sold more tickets to the Circle than to the Alhambra Palace. Several hashers reportedly peed themselves laughing (voluntarily this time). Drunken Bull RA and World Wide
Whore slowly strutted across the Harriettes. Demanding they conduct “inspections” no therapy will ever undo. We’ll never be the same. After two years waiting, a song was dedicated to Gang Bang. Sing this to
the tune of Cher’s “Bang Bang.” Lyrics included: Gang Bang, he pushed me down Gang Bang, to the awful ground Gang Bang, his cock I found Colonic passed me around… Drunken Bull, we demand the full
lyrics. For science. And trauma bonding. Young Dame Oppai was too busy serving down-downs to learn that one - are you ever too young to learn a hash song? Just Carmen got Christened - Lamborghini
Pussy. Get it? And to top a Christening, if that were possible, the hashers were treated to, indeed participated in the BANANA SONG. Superman! I have never seen anything like it and will never look at a Banana
the same way again... there must be a video we can blackmail you with? I think that show just about finished off the Circle. And with that......Granada H3, you were glorious, ridiculous, and deeply
hospitable.Tapas at every beer stop. Circle chaos. And truly unforgettable hashing. You’ve cemented yourselves on the world map.... not just as a kennel to visit… …but as one to survive. On On, you beautiful
bastards from Tokyo, Truro, Malaga, B.I.T.CH3, Costa Blanca, Sembach, Aberdeen, London City, Tokyo Ladies and Mijas; We say Carry ON ON Granada H3!!
Yours Shagadelic ! Mijas H3
