Run 1737 - 28 Feb 2021
Hash Stats:
Location: Shanti Som Wellbeing Retreat, near Monda.
Hares: Just Say When (or Queen of Trails)
Number of Hounds: 23
Marks for the Run: 9.5
Visitors: Pussy Licker
Virgins: None
Returners: None
Anniversarios:
485 Sweet & Low
Hash Narrative:
By the time I arrived, the Guardia Civil had staked out the turn-off by the HHH sign and were searching all vehicles. They let me pass and then helpfully directed me to ‘where your friends went’. On hearing this news, the pack quickly ‘masked up’ and the GM called a hurry-up circle. Fortunately, the Guardia weren’t interested in us, or maybe they were too busy interrogating Salmonella Rushdie.
Off we went….and got lost after precisely 30 seconds on trail. The hare said ‘oh, I forgot to mark that split’ and pointed us into the river bed. We then came upon a macho/wimp split, which caused more confusion. Most of the pack took the macho option, but failed to notice the trail exiting the river bed and continued straight on and joined the wimpy trail. Only a few hashers (Flakey and Gang Bang among them) took the real macho trail, which explained why they were 40 minutes late arriving at the beer stop. I thought maybe Flakey had been arrested by the Guardia for being in possession of an offensive hat (bearing an Everton FC logo).
Back on the main trail, we clambered up rocks and through a tunnel and into some great hashing terrain. Just before the beer stop, we came across another macho/wimp split. I took the wimpy option and got to the beer stop about 30 seconds before the macho runners. At this point, the hare bribed us with gluhwein (which I accepted) and chocolate cake (which I declined).
After about 30 minutes, we gave up waiting for Flakey and Gang Bang (Colonic was convinced they were shagging in the woods somewhere) and set off on the second half of the trail. More great hashing terrain eventually saw us back under the road and down into the river bed…and back onto the rain-affected flour that had been (mis)laid the previous day.
The pack welcomed Pussy Licker from Phuket, who hashed with Mijas many years ago, recalling long-lost souls like The Mountie. The usual ‘round the houses’ scoring of the run produced an average of 9.2 (the GM advised me later that it was upgraded after protest to 9.5, but I’m sticking with the first average). Sweet & Low announced that she was the only anniversario on 485.
The RA (Colonic Irrigation) promptly advised us (did we really want to know?) that his wife (Gang Bang) questioned him in bed that morning about how to measure the size of a frying pan (better than the size of his sausage I suppose!). Pepper Grinder was made to sit strategically on two cans of beer (to resemble a pack of ice?) but I can’t remember what for. Other DDs awarded included the GM for being battered by his missus, and Marcus Skiddius for joking about it being a ‘French Connection’.
Before the circle closed, we were treated to the story of how Stiff Fanny ended up in hospital getting 7 stitches in her hand. To keep a long story short, it involved an illegal dinner party, 2 bottles of champagne, 8 bottles of wine (of various different types) and other assorted booze, followed by naked cavorting in the jacuzzi, and then failing to adhere to the age-old rule ‘never clear away the glasses when you’re totally pi**ed’.
OnOn
JerryCan
Next Run
#1737
Sunday
28 Feb 2021
13:00 hrs
Hares:
JSW Queen of Trails
Ably assisted by Mummy’s Boy
········
Covid 19
Restrictions Apply
Municipal Lockdowns
Rule of 4 in force.
········
If any Hasher feels at risk
from such gathering then
the Hares
advise you NOT to attend
Circle: Shanti Som Wellbeing Retreat, near Monda
Navigation to the Circle: Google Maps link to the circle.
LLanos de Purla Km 22 Carretera, A-355, 29110 Monda, Málaga
+34 952 864-455
Directions: See Google Maps link above.
From Mijas/Fuengirola Inland take the road to the BP/Venta Los Morenos roundabout outside Alhaurin el Grande and take the road to Coin. Before Coin turn left onto the A355 to Monda and Marbella. Past Monda look for the Shanti Som Wellbeing Retreat on your left at Km 22. Look for the HHH signs taking you through the woods.
From Fuengirola and along the Coast, take the A7 and AP7 to La Canada Shopping Centre, Marbella. Turn right/inland on the A355 towards Ojen and Monda. Passing Ojen and before Monda look for the Shanti Som turning on your right at Km 22. Follow the HHH signs.
OnOn: To be advised
Navigation to The OnOn: Google Maps link to the OnOn pending.
OnOn Menu: TBA
Price: EUR€?
Lost Soles or Info:
JSWQOT – +34 642 562 524 or 619 651 253