Run - 1944 - 22 December 2024 Christmas Wedding Run
Finally back to the Circle and its shenanigans! Not only was there a wedding, but there were also two namings! An official welcome to 'Two Dogs Fucking' and 'Teenage Muslim Minga Penis'! Then off to a much better than normal On On restaurant. Yum! On On to next Sunday, when Pearl Necklace and Dog Face will be sprinkling flour around La Cala Hills. In the meantime: Merry Christmas, Feck you!
Sunday 22nd December 2024
The MIJAS HHH CHRISTMAS HASH WEDDING PANTOMIME
Performed by the Mijas HHH with Special Guests - Fat Bastard & Legs Apart as “The Happy Couple”
Ready, set, GO!
(Stiff fanny - acting GM, along with Dixie & Toffee - no dogs in the circle - get yourself a beer - rushes into the circle, Hares Sandra Bollocks & Gangbang waiting expectedly on the sidelines)
Stiff fanny: welcome to run 1944, virgins? One - Tom - on in - we are (all hashers recite their given names in sequence) Tom required to remember 3. Hares? On in!
Hares: (draw on ground with flour) on, on!
Hashers: practice running in circles and getting their knees-up on every staircase in Benalmádena for an hour or so in glorious sunshine before meeting at the beer/cava stop for perfectly chilled refreshments and scrumptious snacks. On, on!
Back to the circle. Let the shenanigans begin.
Narrator:
Maybe a week ago,
In a city miles away
A beautiful girl called
Legs Apart married her handsome fella Fat Bastard ….
Hello boys and girls... (Waits for reply.. I said
HELLO BOYS AND GIRLS: (Audience reply) Are they actually married until they’ve had a hash wedding?!
Audience: Nooooo!
Narrator: Well, it’s your lucky day, you are all invited to attend!! Follow me and form a circle around the love birds.
(Wedding party pone suitable attire including gold chain lead around Fat Bastard’s neck and Legs Apart’s “something blue” thong on display through the lace of her bridal gown)
Cardinal Colonic Irrigation in his ceremonial choir cassock presiding.
[Very long scene plays out including multiple sleevings, gargling with beer and mimicked fellatio - mainly by Yogi Bear]
Blah, blah, blah - blow jobs, hand jobs, anal intruders - dirty songs, swigging beer ....I now pronounce you man and wife.
[Revolting revelry appears to be coming to a merciful end until ... Scene 2 - groan]
Later that afternoon...
Cardinal: time to give rude names to nice newcomers (in the background Golden Cascade baptises Dixie & Toffee - Vaya con Dios & Bethlehem as they greedily lick up the flour)
(To No Name Lovely Layla) [doing his best air guitar and Eric Clapton impression the Cardinal douses our fair heroine with flour but just as he christens her “On your knees” two dogs rush in to save her only to make matters even worse and she is re-named “Two Dogs F@@cking” instead - oh dear - and if that wasn’t bad enough, the brother of the groom was also renamed - “Teenage Muslim Minga Penis” for reasons best left for the second act.
It got chilly and hashers got hungry, On On!
Merry Christmas, y’all!
