Run - 1988 - 19th October 2025

Oct 20

Written By 5KS

Run Number: 1988
Date: Sunday 19th October 2025
Hares: Gang Bang & STTI
Location: Calahonda

Visitors: Pit Stop and Fucks Like a Rabbit
Pack Size: 30 + 2 Hares
Run Score: 9.3

Anniversarios: Belgian Milf 50,

Run – 1988 – 19th October, 2025

Location: Near Riviera

Thirty plus hashers gathered in the sunshine, including one virgin, Verity?, and four visitors, Fucks Like a Rabbit from Rutland, Pit Stop from New Hampshire, Limp Dick from Norway and I Don’t Have One from Norfolk. The hares informed us it was an easy trail. I looked up easy in the Oxford dictionary, expecting it to say something like “achieved without great effort” but instead found “downhill slopes that make last week’s run look like a piece of cake, checks that take twenty minutes to solve, first mark half a kilometer from the check, hills that Edmund Hillary would find challenging”.

The trail started with a check back to a narrow trail that I Don’t Have One, who fell base over apex last week, took one look at and said “Sod this for a game of soldiers” and went back to hitch a ride with Mummy’s Boy. More about that later. Soon after that was a check that was, let’s say, challenging. We went in all directions but there was no trail to be found. Salmonella had gone a long way down one path and reported there was nothing down there. Now had he gone another half kilometer he would have found the first mark and, indeed, the continuation of the trail. Having established that the first mark from a check could be more than half a kilometer away the remaining checks involved lots of running until someone eventually called on on. I did more kilometers checking than I did on true trail. The trail went up. And up. And up, but eventually we found ourselves at the beer stop, where we waited patiently until everyone arrived, including Pit Stop, Master Bates and Check Back. Also bringing up the rear were Kindergarten, French Erection and Blows a Seal, the latter visiting from Algarve, and none of whom were at the start. Kindergarten and French Erection were sent by Google Maps to somewhere near Elviria. Which is where yesterday’s Malaga hash started. Is it possible yesterday’s link was still active and they clicked on the wrong hash?

From the beer stop it was more uphill right to the very top where there was a check back. Also there was my brother, I Haven’t Got One, who had been sent there by Mummy’s Boy. Rather than send him a short distance along the flat to the cava stop Mummy’s Boy, whose car couldn’t make it up the hill, told him the drink stop was just up that hill. So there he was, stranded on top of the hill, both ways down too treacherous to attempt. But I managed to coax him down to the cava stop. From there just a short hop back to the cars. Excellent trail, well-marked, good checks and a very good use of check backs. If you want to rein in the FRBs check backs do it every time.

And so to the circle. Our RA, Rick O’Shea (hey, that rhymes) was in fine form dishing out down downs left, right and center, including:-

The hares, of course.

I Haven’t Got One for giving up on the trail.

Our visitors Pit Stop and Fucks Like a Rabbit.

Limp Dick and 911 for sitting on the cooler.

Kindergarten, French Erection and Blows a Seal for arriving late.

Salmonella’s dad and Genie in a Bottle for talking in the circle, after which they moved outside the circle and continued their conversation so there was a constant buzz of Persian for the duration of the circle.

Comes More Often for having a flash new smart watch which, unfortunately, she is not smart enough to use. “But it looks beautiful,” she said.

Sir Flakey because one of his dogs pissed in the doggie drinking bowl.

Pepper Grinder for being back which developed into when one Viking drinks, all Vikings drink.

Then seven of us (Fucks Like a Rabbit, Comes More Often, Stiffanny, Belgian MILF, Sir Flakey, Five Knuckle Shuffle, me and someone else) were called in and we had to guess what we had in common. Apart from good looks and great bodies we couldn’t figure out what that could be. The answer. We all have an F in our name. But why not French Erection? Maybe in Ireland they spell it Phrench Erection.

The hares again. While setting trail they came across a snake. STTI, being Australian, was about to pick it up, take it home and cook it for lunch when Gang Bang let out a scream that could be heard the other side of Fuengirola.

Colonic for his heavily dyed moustache. His son interrupted him while he was applying the dye and he left it on for 30 minutes instead of 10.

Sir Rub Her Turd and Spermaid for giving Rick O’Shea a lift yesterday and STTI for abandoning him.

Pit Stop for a pee stop and Comes More Often for a poop stop.

Pearl Necklace for yelling “Cava stop” when some hashers were about to set out up the hill to the check back.

STTI called in Rick O’Shea for coming home out of his box and slamming the glass door. Now a non-existent door.

Belgian MILF called in Sir Rub Her Turd for checking a lot. Isn’t that the point of the exercise?

All the harriettes who were on the inaugural harriettes run that most of those of the female persuasion knew nothing about. This was extended to all those without a penis.

Blows a Seal gave a down down to Two Dogs, who wasn’t there.

Finally all those who have signed up to be hares.

Apart from anniversaries there was a special award, a mug, to French Erection in celebration of her upcoming 80th birthday.

Master Bates gave an emotional speech thanking us all.

We were also informed that Christmas has been canceled this year.

And on to Ciao for dinner. There were 20 or so of us, and 12 different nationalities. What a fantastic group we are.

A big thanks to the hares for a great afternoon.

On On

Dogface