Run - 1995 - 7th December 2025
Run – 1995 – 7th December 2025
Hares: Sandra Bollocks and Gang Bang
Location: Near La Cala
Anniversaries: Big Brother 90, Pepper Grinder 180, Kindergarten Cop 805
Hashers: 27 plus 2 hares
Virgins: Jeremy and Willie
Run score: 9.0
Having been the recipient at the Christmas Ball of the most prestigious award of the
evening, most run reports, I felt it fitting that I should volunteer to be this week’s scribe.
Of course there were some lesser awards given out, such Colonic for most runs, Colonic
and 5KS for best drink stop, Blanka Wanka for her amazing social organizing, From
Behind crowned as King of Trails, Kindergarten and Golden Cascades for most
memorable run and many others, but they pale into insignificance compared with
churning out half a dozen pieces of drivel like this week’s offering. A full list of the
awards along with photos are on the Facebook group.
But on to the run. Kindergarten took over GM duties as Sandra Bollocks was hare. He
started by kicking over his beer and announcing run number 1,999. Which would make
our trip to Ronda next week. Very clear instructions from the hares, eg “If you’re on
you’re on. None of this on one on two nonsense. If you’re on you’re on.” Except that was
a blatant lie. Which we discovered at the first check. A strange thing about the
instructions was how the hares kept insisting that we keep our eyes open for flour. Well,
yes. This is what we do every week. It’s how we get to the drink stop and back to the
circle. But we soon found out what they meant. A major feature of the trail is that we kept
losing trail and the FRBs had to fan out to find it again. Call me old fashioned but the
proper way to set trail is to clearly mark any turns. Also in areas where there is no
discernible path to make sure that the next mark is clearly visible from the previous one.
A great example of this was the very first mark, which the entire pack failed to see
because the turn wasn’t marked. On we continued until the hares called us back just
before we hit upon the in trail which would have taken us backwards to the drink stop.
The first part of the trail was pretty nasty shiggy full of dodgy slopes and prickly things.
Eventually it came out on the main road into La Cala where we could actually do a bit of
running. But not for long. Pretty soon it descended onto a rocky, dry river bed. There was
a walkers and runners split and I hope the walkers had more agreeable terrain. The
runners went along some rocky paths and up a long steep hill where we kept losing trail.
Then down the other side to a cacophony of dogs barking, including one big bugger that
wasn’t tied up. We got through without being attacked and soon found ourselves at the
drink stop. All accounted for apart from Pearl Necklace who didn’t fancy the dry river
bed so did her own thing, and Sandpaper Sally who had arrived late.
From the drink stop it was a quick over the hill back to the circle. Apparently the runners’
trail was 4k, most of which was not actually runnable. The walkers’ even shorter.
Kindergarten kicked off the circle by repeating his beer kicking number. Rick O’Shea
being away, Colonic dusted off one of his obscene costumes and ran the circle in his own
inimitable way. And the awards go to –
Big Mouth for wearing new shoes, which in short became one Swede drinks ….
All the coppers and ex-coppers, including Kindergarten who is technically a cop.
Comes More Often for devouring an entire packet of crisps rather than following the hash
tradition of taking a few and passing them on.
Sandpaper Sally, Mummy’s Boy, Just Say When, Pearl Necklace and Dogface for getting
lost trying to find the circle. In our case Google Maps was very insistent that we go up
the hill the trail went up after the drink stop.
Gang Bang for kicking the hell out of the struts on the table, not realizing they fold the
other way.
Jerrycan for recommending the singer who sang at his birthday and who turned out to be
dreadful. Jerry protested his innocence saying the guy came as part of the package at El
Olivo.
Kindergarten for getting to the Christmas Ball 45 minutes early.
Sandra Bollocks for sending a text to the committee before the Christmas Ball asking if
someone could bring some Superglue so she could stick her nail back on.
Mummy’s Boy for locking himself out, which explains why he was still wearing the shirt
he wore on Friday. It doesn’t explain why he didn’t just call a locksmith.
Sandra Bollocks for managing to get out of doing most of the work for today’s run.
Colonic took the coolers and stuff, did all the shopping and took it round to Gang Bang.
Then Gang Bang called her at 11:00 Saturday morning to make sure she was ready to do
a recce only to find out that she was still drunk from the night before and in no fit state to
do anything.
Beetroot for peeing just outside the circle.
Then Colonic mentioned that our circle is a popular place for dogging. Being a
respectable young man it’s not a term I was familiar with but I got the gist from
Colonic’s innuendo and acts. As the only one present with a canine name I was called in
to drink, as was Pearl Necklace.
The two of us again for neither booking nor paying for the Christmas Ball but turning up
anyway. Hey, we can all make mistakes.
An Aguasex lookalike. While walking together on last week’s run she asked Colonic how
his heart and liver were. “What?” he inquired. “The heart and liver you were buying
when I bumped into you in the supermarket the other day.”
All the Scots.
Yogi, who knows this area like the back of his hand, walked the trail backwards with
Jeremy to the drink stop, then completely missed it and waited for 30 minutes in the
wrong place.
Colonic for leaving his Christmas socks in the taxi.
All those who ended up not having matching socks at the Christmas Ball – Pepper
Grinder, Just Say When, Sir RHT, Sandra B.
Pister Bradwee for wearing his Christmas socks.
Then the long awaited reappearance of Stiffitta so she could have the sleeve because back
at the glampout she left with Stifanny’s car keys.
The Bigs as they are leaving on Wednesday.
On On
Dogface
Check out this trail from @Wikiloc!
https://loc.wiki/t/242906875?h=3z5ldgy8pq&wa=sd&la=en (MijasH3 run 1995 Costa)