Run - 2012 - 5th April 2026 Easter Bunny Run
Check out this trail from @Wikiloc!
https://loc.wiki/t/257839879?h=3z5ldgy8pq&wa=sd&la=en (Easter Bunny run MijasH3 run 2026.)
I’m A Hasher… Get Me Out Of Here!
(Live from the Valley of Doom – Mijas H3) with Shaggy & Aguasex
Shaggy:
Welcome back to I’m A Hasher… Get Me Out Of Here! coming to
you live from somewhere between Valtocado… and absolutely
nowhere.
Aguasex:
That’s right, Shaggy. Today’s contestants .. sorry, hashers....have
been dropped into what can only be described as a cross between
a nature reserve… and a tactical military exercise.
The Arrival (Or: Getting Lost Before We Even Started)
Shaggy:
Contestants began by attempting to locate the circle using a pin
drop with absolutely no supporting information.
Aguasex:
A bold strategy..particularly from hares who don’t answer their
phones until after the circle has started.
Shaggy:
As a result, several hashers completed their first challenge before
the run even began:
“Find the Start Without Crying.”
The Run Stumble Begins
Aguasex:
We’re deep in the wilderness now. Streams, bamboo, and terrain
that hasn’t seen a sensible decision since 1987.
Shaggy:
Sandra Bollocks is spotted in her Ronda skirt, bravely hashing
through it all.
Aguasex:
Meanwhile, DeadEnd and Andy appear to have taken on the
challenge in full disguise . No hash gear whatsoever.
Shaggy:
Blending in with a visitor family from OOP North (nice MCFC
shirt)… and slowly turning into lobsters due to complete SPF failure.
The First Challenge: SURVIVE THE ELEMENTS
Shaggy:
And here we go... straight into multiple river crossings.
Aguasex:
We were told there would be eight.
Shaggy:
That was a lie.
Aguasex:
It appears the hares are working as water diviners, ensuring we
cross water approximately every 100 metres.
Bonus Trial: THE WASP NEST
Aguasex:
Oh no… they’ve hit a wasp nest.
Shaggy:
Panic in the rio. What's happening Agua?
Aguasex:
Hashers flailing, splashing, screaming…
Shaggy:
It’s less a trail now, more an evacuation drill.
Wildcard Entry
Shaggy:
Seamus has entered the course fresh from deep vein thrombosis…
Aguasex:
…because nothing says recovery like a jungle survival challenge
and a mountain to climb.
Wildlife Encounters
Shaggy:
They’ve spotted dead, decomposing wildlife. Some fury animal
thrown out in a rubbish bag?
Aguasex:
Which the dogs appear to consider… Chanel No 5.
Medical Risk Assessment
Shaggy:
At this stage, we’re assessing the odds of survival.
Aguasex:
Primary threats include:
Drowning
Falling
Wasp stings
Cardiac arrest
And general poor decision-making
Shaggy:
Helicopter Sanitarius remains on standby.
The Main Event:
Aguasex:
And now... the ultimate challenge. Cardiac Hill.
Shaggy:
Cardiac Hills. There appears to be several of them.
Aguasex:
It is Easter Sunday. If you’ve ever wondered what it felt like carrying
the cross…
Shaggy:
…this is the closest most of us will get.
Altitude Update
Aguasex:
Hashers are now reaching cruising altitude.
Shaggy:
We are level with passing aircraft.
Aguasex:
Several contestants have begun negotiating with their lungs and
checking their apps for medical insurance.
Rescue Team Deployed
Shaggy:
And here comes Dogsy... in luminous search gear, cycling in for the
emergency support crew.
Aguasex:
Reassuring the group that survival is possible…
Shaggy:
…if we can just make it up another 50-storey incline.
REWARD: THE BEER STOP
Aguasex:
And what’s this?
Shaggy:
Redemption.
Aguasex:
Hot cross buns. Cheese. Chocolate cake and cava.
Shaggy:
This is less “jungle survival” and more Puente Romano brunch.
The Final Challenge: THE DINOSAUR Trek
Aguasex:
And now the terrain has changed again.
Shaggy:
We are officially climbing the spine of a giant prehistoric creature.
Aguasex:
Up the scaly head…
Shaggy:
Across the back…
Aguasex:
And down the tail…
Shaggy:
Assuming it doesn’t swipe them off at the end. They should all make
it back to camp.
Final Thoughts from Ant & Dec errr Shaggy & Aguasex
Aguasex:
So, will they make it back?
Shaggy:
Unclear.
Aguasex:
Will they remember any of this?
Shaggy:
Absolutely not.
Aguasex:
But one thing is certain…
Both:
They’ll be back next week.
ON-ON to the campfire!
CAMPFIRE CONFESSIONS
(Aguasex reporting live from the aftermath)
Aguasex:
Welcome back to I’m A Hasher… Get Me Out Of Here! where the
survivors have made it through rivers, wasps, and what can only be
described as a dinosaur spine of a mountain descent.
…and are now gathered around the Campfire of Consequences.
Trail Verdict
Aguasex:
Today’s trial has been scored…9.1
Shaggy (off-screen, faintly):
That’s generous.
Awards Ceremony (Or Hash Humbling Segment)
Aguasex:
First up - Dead End, awarded the sleeve…For being cheated out of
organising the funeral of Rick O’Shea.
Shaggy:
A tragic administrative failure but STTI looks relieved.
Aguasex:
No Name Kim also received a sleeve…
Shaggy:
For reasons unknown.
Aguasex:
Which feels entirely appropriate.
Best Dressed
Aguasex:
Best dressed goes to From Behind…Who arrived as a very fat
Jesus…Complete with bloody palms.
Shaggy:
Method acting at its finest.
Aguasex:
Or early signs of heatstroke.
Re-enactment of the Day
Aguasex:
And now…. in a moment nobody asked for…No Name Andy was
invited to reenact……rogering Golden Cascade in her chair.
Shaggy:
For educational purposes.
Aguasex:
The audience learned nothing.
Piss Poor Drama
Aguasex:
Meanwhile, over at the beer station…UYB was called out for
bickering while serving as Beer Bitch.
Shaggy:
Tensions running high.
Aguasex:
Mostly due to dehydration and madness.
Injury Report
Aguasex:
Colonic Irrigation once again attempted to injure himself…
…and succeeded.
Shaggy:
Blood everywhere.
Aguasex:
At this point, it’s less an accident…
Shaggy:
…and more a hobby.
Birthday Announcement
Aguasex:
Today also marked Jerry Can’s birthday.
Shaggy:
And how did he celebrate?
Aguasex:
By buying a house. With a private pool.
Shaggy:
Well that’s escalated quickly.
Aguasex:
Watch this space for the Pool Party Episode.
Milestones
Aguasex:
Milestones were also celebrated:
Big Brother — 100 runs
Big Mouth — 90 runs
Shaggy:
Proof that time passes…
Aguasex:
…but behaviour does not improve.
Easter Theme Casualties
Aguasex:
In keeping with the Easter theme…Stiffanny appeared in cute
bunny shoes.
Shaggy:
Which did not survive the terrain.
Aguasex:
Or the dignity test.
The Hares Revealed
Aguasex:
The masterminds behind this jungle ordeal:
Steff — aka Stiffanny
Tracey — aka Golden Cascade
Shaggy:
Two hares…
Aguasex:
One theme…
Both:
Zero mercy for the hashers, but the best damned Beer Stop of the
year!
EXTRACTION DRAMA
Aguasex:
And just as the campfire reached peak chaos…
Shaggy was suddenly called away.
Shaggy:
Duty called.
Aguasex:
Rumours of a high-priority extraction began circulating.
(dramatic voice):
A helicopter was scrambled.
Coordinates locked.
Mission: Retrieve Shaggy before further damage occurred.
Shaggy:
I was airlifted out under strict orders…
To oversee the FA Cup quarter final draw.
Aguasex:
Confirmed outcomes:
Chelsea vs Leeds
Man City vs Southampton
Shaggy:
Both at Wembley.
Aguasex:
Which, frankly, sounds easier than surviving this hash.
FINAL WORD
Aguasex:
The contestants have suffered…
Shaggy:
They’ve climbed…
Aguasex:
They’ve bled…
Shaggy:
They’ve been humiliated…
Both:
And they’ll be back next week.
Shaggy and AguaSex!
ON ON
