Run # 2032 16th August 2026 Colonic’s Birthday Run with Elvis & 5KS from Hospital
Run 2032
I was outsprinted to the Circle by Blanca Wanker (definitely competitive running), so I got the dubious honour of being scribe for Run 2031, hared by Colonic and Elvis, and ably supported by 5KS from his hospital bed. Honestly, what some people will do to get out of being a hare…
21 runners turned up and somehow managed to find the start.
Well, 20 of them did.
I guess if I’m the only hasher who couldn’t find it, it’s probably my fault, but……
A fantastic run followed, with an almost perfect 50/50 mix of flour and dog shit. Quite how we knew which was which remains unclear.
9.6/9.9
Elvis lasted a few hours, but at 16 he was All Shook Up, knackered and needed to get home for some sleep. So Agua Sex, having cleverly avoided the entire fucking run, arrived just in time for the Circle.
Suspiciously good timing.
Visitors were BBC and Fan My Fanny.
Our Virgin was Max (the Stool Breaker), Band Aid’s geezer.
It was all looking extremely promising for him in the future-son-in-law stakes. Nice bloke. Good manners. Seemed respectable.
Then the bastard sat on my stool and smashed it.
I loved that bloody chair.
Anniversarios
Angel – 5
Big Brother – 105
Sandra Bollox – 175
Mummy’s Boy – 905
Although Mummy’s Boy has slept through most of those, so frankly I’m not convinced they all count?
The RA then absolved us of our many sins, including Freckly Fanny being in a car crash.
This produced one of those unique Hash moments where she was called into the circle for the customary piss-take, started explaining what had actually happened…and slowly everyone realised it was quite serious and we all felt bed.
An awkward silence followed.
Fortunately STTI broke the tension beautifully by pointing out that at least she could now drink as her car was a write-off.
And normal Hash service was resumed.
In a completely unexpected and unprecedented development, Colonic booked the Palace of India for the On On.
Who could possibly have seen that coming?
We proceeded to eat pretty much every chicken curry they could cook.
But it was Colonic’s birthday, so I suppose for once he was entitled to choose his favourite restaurant.
Presumably feeling slightly guilty that 5KS had missed out on the run — and, more importantly, the curry — Colonic FaceTimed him from the restaurant.
The phone was passed around the table so we could all say hello, giving 5KS the heart-warming sight of 21 pissed-up Hashers enthusiastically stuffing their faces while he lay in a hospital bed. Exactly the sort of moral support you need when you’re ill.
He looked remarkably well considering.
So with full stomachs, a broken stool, one written-off car, one hare in hospital, Elvis having left the building and another successful Hash safely negotiated, Run 2031 came to an end.
Get well soon, 5KS.
Happy Birthday, Colonic.
Freckly Fanny — glad you’re OK.
And Max — I haven’t forgotten my chair.
On On!
Ginger Minge
