Run 1779 - 12 December 2021
MIJAS HASH HOUSE
Date: 12 12 2021
Hares; Blanker Wanker and Speedbumps
assisted by Hairy Hash Hound Skittles
Virtual Hare; Muzzel em
El Coto Run 1779
Location: Arse end of Fuengirola
Number of Hashers: Plenty
Virgins: only one
Visitors:
Run Score: 8.4 +
Anniversaries: who cares
1400 start time in the normal location, close to some civilisation in Mijas Campo up the Arse end of Fuengirola.
The Sun was out,the sky was blue, with not a cloud to spoil the view, but it was raining in my heart.
The trepidation of a 13k run with tunnel, we had been requested to bring a match, or for teenagers, to use the lights from their smart phones.
Nothing has changed in my 8 month absence, apart from a few new, old faces, its a shame Hashing isn't attracting young blood, the next generation will be Hashing using AI and virtual Hash head sets from the comfort of their air conditioned mono pods.
But I'm forgetting the HASH XMAS BALL, this is normally a Hoot, and worth a mention, before we get lost on shitty trails in Mihas Campo.
EL CHAPAREL GOLF CLUB on Friday 10th of December
It was a Hash macho trail just to get to the place, all roads in are basically assult courses for the local taxi drivers, fortunatly throughout the false trails, checks , splits and back checks ,we all managed to arrive at the venue for the wellcome Cava.
Always difficult seeing friends in non hash gear, we all look so different when scrubbed up, to some this is more natural than others, and it was obvious with the choice of Tie that Mr Flakes had been rushed ,and grabbed whatever came to hand from the top of the Fancy Dress Box.
As more arrived in various state of smartness, it was clear that I wasn't going to recognise everyone, a lot of hot dusty trails have passed since my last one in March,and only a handfull of cold muddy trails for me in Yorkshire, I was forgetting what a crazy world the Mijas Hash is.
I was feeling a little apprehensive and necked a few beers at the bar, as more and more faces appeared I realised this was going to be my largest indoor gathering since last years Xmas Ball.
Uncle Fester's head shone a light on my fears, the ice was broken and soon I was mingling as though Covid had never been invented, Omicron whats that?
Sandra Bollox was showing no signs, of the exessive amounts of wine we had consumed with Pepper Grinder on Thursday afternoon, my body was telling me something, I'M OUT OF PRACTICE, so I tried to rectify the situation.
My table was a mixture of old and new, Sweet and Low sat to my left,and some new face with a Poke my Arse with a stick type name, to my right.
Seamen Stains and Appy Ending filling in the gaps to the Brady Bunch parents opposit. Was Jerry Can there somewhere?
The high table of organisers was soon in action, presenting awards for varioius actions throughout the year, I didn't take much notice but i'm sure The Brads were voted the best new cumers, Colonic a lifetime achievment award for services to all things RA, his prize being a Brexit Goody Bag of all things English, so he can wallow in his patriotic glory before Boris really fecks things up.
The Queen of trails must have also recieved an all time record award, for the prolific amount of trails she lays, with Mummys Boy in there somewhere as chief survivour and Hash Mule. I'm sure she's cursing me for my first aid administration on the Mule, a few years ago now. But all theese things make the Mijas Hash what it is. Before I left Yorkshire, we had a Funeral for a lad who turned Blue while travelling home from a session.
Everybody kept asking what he had died of, my reply was, Lack of breath! One to remember folks if you ever find yourself in that situation, and something my ex wife,a nurse had passed on to me.
Sweet and Low has finaly retired, from the money laundering job as Hash Cash, i'm sure she will have a happy retirement trying to fill the 5ltr coke bottle with full fat Coke. Well done for your sterling efforts over the years, i'm sure The Flakes won't have missed the odd $1000 transfered to the off shore Shell company.
SL enterprise St Kitts
Looking back at the many photos posted by Seamen Statins, we all had a jolly good time, I even took to the dance floor with the six foot Lisa, a friend of Sandra B, so nice to trot with someone with a similar inside leg mesurment, and nice we could all relax and have fun.
I remember there was a female singer and three chaps taking a piss behind a curtain on stage, Five Knuckle couldn't handle it, however for Rob the Knob and Mr Flakes it was natural to help out a man in a pre dick ament.
Well done the orgainiser team
Right, back to El Coto run 1779
It was going to be tough one, thats for sure, had the new cummers been setting a higher standard on running? Don't they realise its a Drinking Club with a Running problem. Far too many athletic looking people expecting a good workout, even Bravefart was looking fit, but this was just a ploy as he would be the sweeper in his Landrover to pick up any Wafes and Srays, my tactic was to wander around the campo for an hour and find the intrail.
Fortunatley Cabin Boy was able to join me for a while, before makeing a run for the Tunnel with Pyhcodelic,trying to catch Mr Flakes with a new Hash Hound in tow. Lots of stragglers scattered arout the campo, I was passed by three Trail bike riders and a Horse, but no other Hashers.
Feck it, no point in killing myself on my 292nd Mijas run, I intend to collect a down down or two on my 300th in a few months time.
Time to dress as The Real Fake SANTA and relax in the sunshine, only to be dissturbed by passing cars Hooting their horns and the Flakes waking me up so he can go and watch Everton play some silly football game, no nothing has really changed.
Back to sleep before JSW came sprinting in asking for the time, she also had to shoot off somewhere better?
Then it was the HARES in the Beer Wagon waking me up,but at least I could have a beer.
What could be better than watching everyone arrive back in one piece back at the circle, each one with a tale to tell,everyone happy,sweaty and thirsty.
A quick circle was required,as when the sun went down we all started to feel the chill. Come on Kindergarden wrap it up and Left behind putting the Hares on ice for?
Giving Rob the Nob the chance to sing another long and boring song , come on wrap it up.
We had a virgin to deal with, a friend of Speedbumps with a Dog called Eidi and a water bottle hanging from her belt, she could have kept going with remembering three hash names and got her prize so easy.
drink it down down.
I'm dreaming of a white christmas,just like the one we had before, where the feck is the on on, I'm ready for some grub.
The score for the run must have been high as everyone liked it, even though there were no nibbles left at the circle and hardly any flour used to mark the long long 12k plus trail.
Must have been at least an 8.4 with knobs on .
Well done HARES and the HAIRY Dog and a virtual thanks to Muzzel em
Nice Indian italian fusion on on
till the next time
Yogi Bear
