Run 1746 - 02 May 2021
Hares – Out Doggin´ Budgie and Dipper
At - Torreblanca
Hounds - 37
Virgins - 1
Score - 9.00
Anniversaries
schvitz & schwallows 5
pepper grinder 90
rubber turd 365
gang bang 375
over and done with 105
cabin boy 85
Colonic Irrigation 445
Sir Flakey 685
Dipper 675
Top tip - Dont try to run over the GM when you are parking after arriving late and he wont ask you to be the scribe!! Anyway, after stripping to my jock strap to apply my sun cream, I said hello to my
children and joined everyone in the circle.
The hares seemed well organised when telling us about the run and to save flour for the wild goats we would see that day, tried to explain the markings that we should follow that afternoon. Luckily a spare bag
of flour was found and we received a comprehensive explanation of all markings.
Instead of a sprint finish, we had a sprint start, thanks to the 7:1 gradient of the first 300 metres of the trail. After that there was a good variety of surfaces, turns, twists and a wee splash o water (for ma whiskey ye ken!!). I dont know if there were any check backs or false trails because i was near the back of the pack so happily meandered along at my own pace, navigating using blind luck and listening out for the odd "On On!!" shout that bounced off beautiful countryside we were all walking through.
At the first wimps or machos split i thought (big mistake!!) it would be fun to take my two small boys on the macho route up a recently dried out river bed. As they are half my size and even less my age, they quickly
and nimbly were at the source of the river before you could say, wait for your old man, he's struggling....mainly because every time he ducked under a branch it would hook his rucksack and dump him to the ground. Out of no where a voice cried, please look for my sunglasses down there,
I dropped them. We did look, but couldnt find them so climbed up the bank, joined the wimps route and were at the first of two beer stops!!
The hares provided a fantastic selection of beers, soft drinks (particularly lemon and orange fanta, for the demanding braidwee children), snacks and cakes. When pause button discovered the chocolate
brownie cake, he truly lived up to his name, pausing, rewinding and playing again about 100 times to eat virtually the entire cake himself.
Refueled and ready to go again we walked about 200 metres to the second beer stop of the day. The majority of hounds ignored the second BS, but for those that didnt, there was 100% consensus that a two stop strategy is much better than a one stop strategy - take note team Mercedes.
As i tend not to learn from my mistakes, when i got to the second wimps or machos split....well you know what happened next, this time with pause button, schvitz & schwallows and the soon to be named, Urine. The views from this stage of the run were truly awesome and definitely one of the things that makes these walks so enjoyable every week. Not being one to embarrass fellow hounds when nature calls, Urine certainly did not tell the rest of us to keep walking and not look back whilst he ducked behind a tree to relax and enjoy the view.... After that we seemed to lose the trail and although we could see the finish line from our elevated vantage point we werent sure how to get there. Up stepped, or down stepped as it turned out, schvitz & schwallows who decided we should walk down a 85 degree declivity to rejoin the track and make it to the finish.
The closing circle was typically boring and nothing much happened. In case you're wondering i still cant feel my cheeks!!
The Hares chose a virgin venue Pepe’s, for the On On. Although Budgie Smuggler and Out Dogging had spent many hours briefing William the owner and ‘cook’ telling him how many Hashers there would be and what time they would arrive. The staff all seemed genuinely flummoxed when 23 Hashers turned up. The tables were not even laid. The Hares were concerned and frustrated to say the least. William’s partner, front of house, went into a bit of a melt down!
Dipper, Golden Cascade and Out Dogging quickly got things moving in the most important role of opening wine, distributing glasses and cutlery. Other Hashers were happy to partake in their favourite pastime of drinking! Eventually some rather overcooked garlic bread arrived and although it didn’t look good everyone was hungry and ate with gusto and to be honest it didn’t taste too bad.
The Hares started to relax as the starters began to arrive and the Pil Pil Prawns were rather good as were the main courses.
After more wine and drinks the Hasher’s became rowdy and Dipper and Sir Flakey treated us all to their rendition of Barnacle Bill the Sailor which was hilarious and ended the evening with a bang.
Hasta proxima, Pisster Braidwee.
