Run 1766 - 12 September 2021

Run Report 1766 Back To School Run

Date: Sunday 12th September 2021

Hares: Kindergarten/ French Erection

Location: Mijas Campo

Virgins: Henry

Returners: 5

Number of Runners: 26

Run Score: 6.1

The Hounds arrived, some wearing their interpretation of school uniforms. It has to be said that it looked like a scene from St Trinians minus the stockings and suspenders. Sir Flakey’s only attempt to look like a schoolboy was a penis tie, no gold star there then, naughty corner for him. However it must be said that many hounds were not suitably dressed for school as the Hares had omitted that there was a dress preference for this run. Even the cardinal was not sporting any school attire.

The Hares explained the run markings mostly for the sake of the virgin and returners but omitted some important information which the Hounds were to discover on their way round. However they did say that there would be a whimps and macho trail at some stage.

The Hounds took off and fell into the usual hiking mode following flour. Initially, a few silly checks, which frankly were pretty obvious. Then things changed and rather than flour there was shredded paper, not mentioned by the Hares. Some experienced hounds thought maybe these markings were from a previous run but followed them anyway as there was nothing else. Most of the hounds arrived at the beer stop and were surprised that they had missed the macho/ whimp split as they had all followed what they thought was the trail. Anyway a while later other hounds arrived who had somehow found the macho trail and marvelled at how fabulously astute they were. There was also a surprise visitor at the back of the hounds, a kid billy goat, which had followed them to the beer stop. The kid was obviously missing his mummy as he was very affectionate towards the women hounds. However Kindergarten was not happy about having a goat at school arrangements were made to get the goat looked after until the goat herder would go past later that evening. So taken were the hounds with the little goat that one of the dogs knocked over the beer table not once but twice. The Cardinal was not happy with this and took notes ready to use when punishments were given at the school assembly later.

After the goat was sorted the hounds set off again and this time were astonished that their next lesson was so easy!!! The trail back from the beer stop to the assembly point was the same as the one we had just used!!

Sir Flaky started off the school assembly and the hounds gave their meagre scores for the run. Under the circumstances the Hares were lucky to get a score and not Hash Shit, but there you are, the hounds were obviously in good spirits on the first day back at school.

Eggshell blonde took over the circle and told a few naughty jokes one about nuns!! and was quickly replaced by the Cardinal.

There were not gold stars for anyone though and the Cardinal punished a number of the hounds. Obviously the hairs, Kindergarten and French Erection were iced for the standard of the run. Braveheart took some stick about a glove he was wearing. French Erection was chastised because she had lost a dobber when setting the run. Sooper Pooper and SARS were iced due to a head injury which was supposedly the result of some Viking sex. Speed Bumps was iced over Skittles knocking the beer table over. Kindergarten was cleansed with Holy Water as it was his 666th run, the devil was banished, hopefully.

The school bell went and the hounds went off to the On On and the less said about that the better I think!

Your scribe

Out Dogging