Run - 1789 - 20 February 2022

Date: 20 February

Hares: Just Say When Queen of Trails

Run Number: 1789
Location: Barranco Blanco
Number of Hashers: 32
Virgins: Hannah de Hamburgo
Visitors: Five. A Scandinavian invasion!

Run Score: 9.8

Anniversaries: None

The 2 km track down to the car park gave an indication of what was awaiting the 32 Hashers who turned up on this blustery day. This was a Queen of Trails Hash, so the trail was probably going to be as extreme as the track. It didn’t disappoint.

Several visitors and a virgin were introduced. The virgin, Hannah from Hamburg, looked nervous. Visiting Hasher, Not the Nine o’Clock News from Copenhagen, was far more confident. The other four visitors were from the Stockholm Hash. It was starting to look like a Scandinavian take over.

The Queen of Trails came into the circle to tell all about her Hash and even mentioned a sighting of an Egyptian mongoose. In Barranco Blanco! How exotic! Unfortunately, with 32 Hashers stomping through the countryside, shouting ‘on on’, the mongoose sensibly decided to hide itself away.

And we were off! Up and down grassy banks, scrambling over rocks and slipping in the mud, it was a great trail. Even the sun came out. The Machos took a trail that was apparently quite macho. So much so that SARS appeared at the beer stop from totally the wrong direction (shortcutter!) and Cabin Boy and French Erections didn’t make it. Although Frenchy did reappear later carrying a bird’s nest, albeit minus a bird.

The second part of the trail was not as extreme but equally fun, especially for the Machos who found themselves knee-deep in a stream. Some sneaky Wimps had spied Queen of Trails sprinkling more flour and so decided to pursue her instead. A wise decision, as they arrived at the cava stop before the soaked and squelchy Machos. The cava flowed and the Hashers were happy.

Cabin Boy led the way back for any shortcutters with the promise of jumping goats. The goats were super excited to see a bunch of Hashers and indeed jumped around with joy.

The Hashers continued back to the car park, to almost be ambushed by some rather sinister-looking dudes in camouflage, who emerged from the undergrowth wielding weapons. Fortunately, no Hashers were shot or paintballed and all made it back to the safety of the car park for circle time.

The scores were given and the praise for Queen of Trail’s trail poured in. An almost-perfect 9.8, especially deserved as she had agreed to hare at the last minute. Disappointed that we hadn’t spied the elusive Egyptian mongoose, she instead told us how she’d had to lie down in the bushes to avoid being detected by a prowling Range Rover.

In the absence of Cardinal Colonic, still on his honeymoon, the RAs were From Behind and Salmonella Rushdie.

First up was an impressive array of lost property from last week’s Hash at Aqua Sex’s house. Yogi Bear was reunited with his shoe, which he lost whilst crawling into Sandra Bollox’s car whilst in a rather inebriated state. Inebriated? Yogi Bear? Surely not?

Birthday boys Pepper Grinder and Choir Boy got the birthday flour treatment, but luckily for them no eggs or carrots this week.

One of the Machos found an empty bag of flour on trail. How on earth did that manage to get into the middle of the campo? Queen of Trails was deservedly punished, as was Caca Pants, as by this time the flour bag was looking a little cacky.

There was some confusion as to which Hasher had been pissing into a bush, as visiting Stockholm Hasher, John Cleese, looked a little like From Behind from behind, what with his flowing Viking locks. Both were punished.

As there were so many Scandinavians on trail all were punished. As was anyone who looked Scandinavian. Then the Brits were also punished, as there were only nine of them.

However, to prove what a truly international Hash Mijas HHH is, our Iranians, Salmonella Rushdie and Genie in the Bottle were invited into the circle for talking in Persian.

A truly wonderful 9.8 time was had by all and an even more wonderful time at the Boma African Restaurant – a truly international experience!

On on to next week’s Hash!

Blanka Wanka