Run - 1799 - 24 April 2022

ate 24/04/22

Run number 1799

Hares: Just say when / Mummy´s boy

Location: Valtocado

Number of runners: 28

Virgins: 1 - Polish, maybe Swedish, fuck it, who cares, she was from

somewhere in Europe!! Nice lass, bought a hash top!!

Visitor: 1 – From Dubai, or some other camel jockey sandpit. Nice chap,

brought a badge for the GM!! What about the rest of us you tight

bastard?!?

Anniversaries: Cum Pussy 60 (only nine more for the jackpot!)

Run Score: 9.5

Scribe

Once again JSW find another fantastic location for a hash....most of us arrived on time and the circle was forming when an ancient Swedish

Viking (AKA Google Master Bates!) decided you don’t need to use your hands to control the steering wheel on a twisty Spanish “road” as he waved wildly whilst peeping his horn to announce his late arrival. His

passengers didn’t know if they were cum-ing or go-ing....pussies!!! ;-)

Anyway, we set off on another typically flat JSW hash and from start to finish it was amazing.....there was greenery and scenery and a prickly bush (no i´m not talking about Sandra Bollocks´ lady garden!!) that

injured a number of hashers who required some first aid from Stiff Fanny at the end of the hash. Apart from that it was a great run, a few streams to wonder through, a few gorges to climb up and down, a bit of

asphalt thrown in the middle.....not ass felt as some light fingeredhashers would have preferred!!! So you would have thought nothing could go wrong.....well nothing more than two of the most experienced hashers getting lost half way before the beer stop!!! I wont name names....ach fuck it, ofcourse i will, Kindergarden Cop and Sir Rubber Turd, hang your heads in shame!!! And to think at the circle you tried to blame the hare by saying there was dubious markings makes it even

worse....myself, padre, French erection and Ricochete had no problem finding the right trail as you discovered when you crawled back up hamburger hill!!

Anyway, onto the beer stop with some lovely home grown oranges and some even lovelier home baked (cough mercadona) orange cake!! Refreshed and revitalised we carried on, only slightly motivated by the fact the cava stop was just over the next hill, or was it the next one, or the next one........Due to the date of this particular run some of the Englanders were rather excited about some chap called Dode who was apparently a bit of a lad back in the day...slaying dragons and knocking up a few burds!!

Who knows, but if the outfit the RA had on yesterday is anything to go by, he certainly would have won first prize at the local fancy dress parties!! As the corks started to fly at the cava stop, our regular Sheila from down under revealed that she had made some wonderful Anzac biscuits in honour of Anzacs day (today)....stick that in your pipe George!!! Well, these things were absolutely delicious!!! If Mary Berry had tried one of these beauties the bake off would be cancelled and STTI would be doing her book tour from Hull to Skegness!! Everyone was pleased to see that it wasn’t too far from the cava stop to the on in, although we did have another small river to cross and steep hill to climb. At one points I’m sure we passed Maria Rainer, however as I only brought one child this week there was no sign of the von Trapp clan!!

As we all made the circle for post run scoring the RA took great delight in showing everyone his massive weapon!! That´s right, the cheeky bugger had nicked Saint Georges sword!! Quite an impressive feat as it´s

almost as tall as he is!! Anyway, when the RA was kindly explaining his role to the virgin, some cheeky shit (aka KaKa Pants) suggested his initials stood for Retarded Arsehole and was justifiably iced!!! Feeling sorry for my wee boy, I decided to fall on my sword (are you sensing a theme here? No, me neither!!) and screeched the worst rendition ever of the worst song ever and therefore replaced KaKa Pants

on the ice. Our recent German guest was baptised with the name Go Pussy (see para 1) and the circle was closed with directions to the OnOn

and information about next weeks run.

It should be pointed out that no animals or children were injured or abused during this hash, however one small dog was breastfed during the circle and KaKa Pants was given a severe beating when he got home for disrespecting the RA!!

Goodnight and On On!!