Run - 1870 - 6 August

Date: 6th August 2023

Run Number: 1870

Hares: STTI and Rick O’Shea

Location: Calahonda

Virgins: 0

Visitors: 1

Number of hashers: 21

Anniversaries: 0

Run score: 9.5

Hash Flash: From Behind

Scribe: Smiler

TUNNEL, BAMBOO FOREST, BEACH AND POOL RUN.

This weeks Sunday frolics started with the circle in the woods up the hill in Calahonda. Only 21 brave hashers turned up in the scorching heat because of the lure of the beach and pool stop (or in my case the Cava stop 😊)

PISTER BRADWEE, aka Hash Cash, morphed into the substitute GM role for the first time ever and was a worthy replacement.

The hares tried to explain their flour marking which looked more like hieroglyphics to us and then falsely claimed it was a mere 5km run! (Not!)

Then off we went up the hill with WHERE’S THE OFF SWITCH kindly marking all the checks for us. Eventually, JUST SAY WHEN found the correct trail and we all went sliding down into the dense bamboo forest and eventually onto the shaded river bed which was made more enjoyable hearing Dolly Parton singing out from a nearby pool party.

FROM BEHIND and LILY SAUVAGE being gentlemen, falsely guided BLANKA WANKA down a steep slippery slope using her bum as a brake, only to see the more sensible SMILER and AQUA SEX trotting down a much easier way.

Then onto the Sex Stop (exercise stop) where more fun was had on the kiddies apparatus.

For the first time ever in Calahonda Hash history, we were treated to a 5 minute trek through a totally pitch black tunnel. (Thank god for mobile phone torches)

Then we marched for miles along the boardwalk before our first swim stop. The sea looked very inviting but soon turned out to be more like the Baltic than the Med with much complaining afterwards from wimpy male hashers about the size of their bollocks. (Nothing new there)

The beer stop was a welcome break giving much of us a chance to remove sand from various orifices. After which, we head along the highway, over the bridge and up to the Cava stop where we were dismayed to find no Cava. Finally the hares turn up with some feeble “got stuck in traffic” excuse which didn’t save them them from a good ‘Icing’ later.

After belated Cava and crisps we heading through a well shaded pretty park back up to circle for much punishment to be handed out by COLONIC IRRIGATION, our Barbie inspired RA. Maybe pink shirt and matching pink socks could be the next West Ham away kit (lol). BLANKA WANKA was then assigned second GM substitute of the day as the PISTER BRADEE, first substitute GM, jogged off home with the Brady Bunch during the run. Maybe the excitement of his new role was too much for him.

DOWN DOWNS to:

Eggshell Blonde and Liverpudlian side kick got iced twice, once for talking to their wives (on phones) in the circle and second one for being a Scouse.

Lily Sauvage got his weekly icing for sleeping in the middle of two gay guys.

Dogs Bollocks and Eggshell Blonde had to drink with the sleeve for not having Hash gear on.

No name Dave was named and baptised BAD WEASEL.

Hares, STTI and RICK O’ SHEA, for not turning up with the Cava in time. UP YOUR BUM was so disappointed to not be able to hand over her Hash Shit to them.

Smiler

https://www.wikiloc.com/hiking-trails/sitio-de-calahonda-142815901