Run - 1874 - 03 September 2023

Mijas Hash run number 1874 3 Sept 2023

Hares: From Behind / Blanca Wanka / Aquasex

On Inn: Casa Aquasex

This was the first day in September with “bad” weather, i.e. not superhot and sunny and even with some

morning rain. However this was highly appreciated by the hashers who liked the cloudiness, the

moderate temperature about +25 and no wind. Add high humidity and it was by no means cold.

Some rain had fallen on the trail marks before the run, but the hares were aware of the rain-risk and

by using plenty of flower the marks had survived the rain nicely.

At the chalk-talk we were informed the marks were super simple: only circles for checks and blobs

for true trail. We were also informed that there were macho and wimps trail options, however, as

the wimp option was said to be very wimpy and the macho was not to be very macho (!), everyone

was advised to use only the macho option (!?). A virgin, ‘Blue’, (nephew of Niki Bitch) was

introduced and was given the usual challenge to memorize three hash names from the pack. He

repeated loud every name he was told – CLEVER! – (more later).

The trail started off down a small nature trail, which immediately was missed by a bunch of

frontrunners, led by Salmonella, who set off down a gravel road and soon found themselves being

last. The true trail a bit later turned into a long uphill, to a high road point where the scribe

remembered that the pool run started 31 July last year on a superhot day (run 1814). On that high

point was a check.

Hounds looked in all possible directions (which was no more than two!) and saw no sign of any sign.

The pack stood clueless and sad until the sweeper ‘From Behind’ came ‘from behind’, pointed out

the direction and declared that the marks must had been erased by someone. He then started to

reset the trail marks AFTER the pack moved on, i.e. *From Behind set the trail ‘from behind’! Of

course, that later led to a down-down.

UPDATE: it was next day found out in social media that inhabitants had seen the hares putting out

marks, and instead of asking them about it, they put out a social media warning and contacted

authorities, and so the marks were skillfully removed for quite some distance. Sigh!

After some trail loops and quite some hills up and down a hasher came running against the

frontrunners backwards on the trail carrying one open and one not open beer. This was ‘Bed and

barfest’, who had asked for a car-lift from Fuengirola but had missed his train, and thus his has

transport. He resolved his transport-challenge by the ‘run-to-the-run’-concept (quite often used by

fit hashers in the Stockholm hash). As he was late, he had missed the ‘take the macho’-advice and so

took the wimp option, arrived early to the BS, and decided to run backwards to meet the hashers,

nicely bringer a beer for himself and one extra beer, which BigBrother eagerly received.

Soon all were at thewell earnt Beer Stop, were also some Cava was poured and Blanka Wanka made

the first of several announcements that afternoon that her partner ‘From Behind’ was a bit ‘Behind’

by having bought also ‘semi sweet’ Cava, a ‘No-No’ in her opinion. Agreeable!

Trail went on with more hills up and down and eventually down into a dry gorge/arroyo/river bed

which the pack followed quite a while on a rocky grounds surrounded by dense Bambu and here and

there loaded with insidious sharp plants. Eventually, the trail climbed up to a road, where awaited us

the hash car and a Cava-stop, including tasty hot-sausage-snacks combined with dry and semi-dry

Cava.

A short, but steep, uphill brought us back to the circle. The trail was generally given high notes,

averaging 9,5 with quite some credit wrongly given to the hares for the ‘nice weather’. I say

wrongly, as you should all know the religious adviser and not the hares is the one who manages the

weather, i.e. Rick O’Shea this day. He did a priest-like performance in his handsome black feet-long

RA-happy-coat, which he complemented with a bambu-whip, that he called ‘bata stick’, a weapon

that teachers whipped Rick O’Shea and other students with back in the dark medieval ages in the

Irish history (!). So Rick O’Shea likewise whipped all poor hash sinners he could reach until his

bambu-bata shattered in pieces. Before that however, something quite remarkable:

The virgin ‘Blue’, who had to memorize 3 hash names, was during the run heard to repeat hash

names, so we understood he aimed at far more than 3 names. Fair enough, when challenged, he

named ALL 25 PRESENT HASHERS CORRECTLY and only stumbled on parts of one or two odd complex

double names, like ‘Pister Bradwee’. Remarkably done, and I guess, a record for the Mijas Hash. Well

earned DD! ‘Blue’ also got a downdown from the undersigned for front-running in long-legged

jeans. That DD was however expanded to half a dozen more hashers who all performed in jeans,

long or short. NoNoNo BadBadBad. A short ‘Most blood on trail-competition was won by ‘Pink

Melons’. And Pink melons and Buggered in the Woods also got a downdown for getting lost in the

gorge with only one way out! Some more DDs followed including these anniversaries:

Chicken George – 70, From Behind – 200, Salmonella Rushdie – 400, Kindergarten Cop – 720, Dogs

Bollox - 860. The circle ended and we moved on to the OnOn (or as I would call it: to the On Inn).

On Inn was at casa Aquasex who offered access to her nice villa, garden and pool. Only ‘From

Behind’ and ‘Rick O’Shea’ was seen to fully submerge themselves in the pool after their hard

performance on trail and in the circle. However a handful of other hashers lowered their dirty and

smelly feet in the pool by sitting on the edge of it. Shame on them, pool recovery is estimated to

take 3 weeks.

In the meantime, Aquasex and helpers prepared a lovely buffet in the living room, with salad,

cheese, bread, crackers, pie/quiche, paté, potato salad and more niceities. Plenty of wine was served

too. A pity that the undersigned had promised to drive later. As dessert was presented, which was a

wonderful cake, which was served in celebration of the 1-year birthday of Bonnie, one of the two

dogs of the casa. She was properly sung the Bonnie song to, and then happily strolled about among

all hashers in hope of another snack from their plates.

Later on, when all were in ‘on-after-mode’ on the patio, the subject came up on what national-

specific dishes hashers could/should bring to future events. Focus turned more to weird dishes than

nice ones (after all we are hashers). This subject may require a story of its own, but just to mention

one dish the scribe happens to know well (unfortunately): “surströmming”, i.e. fermented or almost

rotten herring. It is a north-of-Sweden specialty, extremely (bad) smelly, and not allowed to take on

flights, not even as unopened tins in checked-in luggage. A hasher in Stockholm actually organizes a

surströmming-hash every summer, latest was just now in August. Luckily we were out of reach her in

Spain! Google “surströmming” and enjoy any of the many videos of tasting attempts! Somehow, I

have to get a tin down to Mijas one day (in Olofs camper?). Thank you all organisers for a great

afternoon and top class food and thinks at casa Aquasex. On out for some time from BigBrother and

BigMouth. Back later in the fall.