Run - 1942 - 8 December 2024

Dec 9

Written By 5KS

Fantastic run around El Faro by hares Clit Hero Kid and Speedbumps, with assistance from Muzzle Im. Gorgeous sea views at Circle, undulating (not killer) trail, extremely dodgy check backs, two drink stops, and the big black butt plug. Great to have returning visitors Superman and ze Germans. Also great to have the entire Brady Bunch! On on to next week, the Christmas Curry Hash, when From Behind and Blanka Wanka will be sprinkling flour around Campo de Mijas and Aguasex will serve you up an amazing Christmas Curry feast.

The Hilariously Unofficial Report on the Hash House Harriers: A Legacy of Laughter and Legs

Introduction:

Welcome, fellow Hashers, to the most highly anticipated (and mildly confusing) report on the illustrious history of the Hash House Harriers! Now, grab your running shoes, a frosty beverage, and prepare for a journey through time that’s as winding as the trails we run on.

A Brief History of the Hash House Harriers:

Legend has it that in 1938, a group of mischievous British expatriates in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, decided that running didn’t need to be a solitary endeavor reserved for the overly fit or those with a penchant for lycra. They convened for an evening of spirited running and socializing, which quickly escalated into what would eventually be known as the Hash House Harriers (HHH). The name itself comes from the “Hash House,” the nickname for the Selangor Club, where these raucous rascals would gather post-run for a pint (or five) and share tales of their questionable life choices.

What started as a simple gathering of like-minded individuals has now exploded into an international phenomenon, with over 2,000 Hash clubs in more than 180 countries. Yes, you read that right! From the deserts of Dubai to the snowy slopes of the Alps, the Hash House Harriers have left their mark—often in the form of mud stains and bewildered onlookers.

The Global Hash Phenomenon:

So, where can you find these intrepid souls? Just about everywhere! From the bustling streets of Tokyo to the beaches of Rio, Hash House Harriers are united in their love of running, socializing, and drinking beer (often in that order, but sometimes not). And let’s not forget the true charm of the Hash: the trails are often marked by a series of flour spots, leading you to various dead ends, scenic views, and the occasional confused dog.

The Notable Achievements of Our Fellow Hashers:

Now, let’s get to the good stuff—the illustrious run counts of our dedicated members. These are the brave souls who have truly embraced the spirit of hashing, and perhaps also have a questionable relationship with cardio:

- Dead End (40 Runs): Our friend Dead End has reached a milestone that perfectly encapsulates the essence of hashing: sometimes, you just end up going in circles… literally. Congratulations on mastering the art of getting lost, and never knowing what is going on. Thanks to his PA. Equitex, who keeps him on the street and narrow of a run informing him. What’s coming up, he manages to survive from one event to the other. Thank you, Aqua sex.

- Dog Face (70 Runs): Dog Face has been spotted on more trails than some actual dogs! With 70 runs under their belt, it’s safe to say they’ve developed a unique bond with the local canine community and may or may not have been mistaken for a dog at some point.

- Pause Button (95 Runs): This clever Hasher knows that sometimes the best pace is a leisurely one. With 95 runs, Pause Button is a master of the art of strategic snack breaks. After all, why run when you can snack?

- Where is the Off Switch (105 Runs): The existential question of our time! After 105 runs, this Hasher is still searching for that elusive off switch. Spoiler alert: it’s probably buried under a pile of empty cans.

- Ricochet (130 Runs): At 130 runs, Ricochet has perfected the art of bouncing back from every stumble, both physically and metaphorically. Just like their namesake, they tend to hit every trail, bar, and snack table with equal enthusiasm!

- Belgian Milf (15 Runs): A newcomer to the Hash, Belgian Milf has already garnered attention for their delightful mix of charm and mischief. With just 15 runs, they have the potential to become a legendary figure—especially if they keep bringing those delectable Belgian treats!

Conclusion:

And there you have it, dear Hashers! A comical glimpse into the history and achievements of the Hash House Harriers. As we lace up our shoes and prepare for more runs, remember to embrace the spirit of hashing: run, laugh, drink, repeat! May your trails be merry and your beer cold. Cheers to the Hash!

Now, let’s hit the trails before someone decides to start a run in the opposite direction!