Run 1776 - 21 November 2021
Date: 21 November 2021
Hares: Shagadelic, Crooner, Stiffany
Run Number: 1776
Location: Mijas
Number of Hashers:
Visitors: Herring Choker (Phnom Penh)
Run Score: 9
Anniversaries: SARS 50, Red Hot Chilli 100, From Behind 125, Google Master Bates
Report:
The hares told the hardiest of Mijas hashers, who had turned up despite the dubious-looking weather, that the trail was going to be ‘relatively flat’ and ‘shitty’. As they explained their use of biodegradable toilet paper to mark a lot of the trail, in case the flour got washed away, the circle agreed that it did indeed sound a little shitty.
The hashers set off across the road and slipped and slid up and down various ‘relatively flat’ hills, before running through smelly tunnels and soggy vegetation. So far, so shitty! As the heavens opened, Gang Bang and Roger the Cabin Boy were seen running with umbrellas, in vain attempts to keep their hair and looks relatively presentable.
As the bulk of the soaked hashers arrived at the beer stop, the heavy rain finally stopped and a few rays of sun peeped through the clouds. Stiffany, never one to miss a sales opportunity, opened up haberdashery and offered dry clothes at bargain prices to the wet hashers. Almost all resisted her attempts to cash in on their soggy state.
Some unfortunate hashers never made it to the beer stop shop, as rather than taking the obvious and easy short cut they bravely decided to punish themselves by following (and losing) the true trail in a river bed with rolling stones. Google Master Bates, who is not a fan of rolling stones, decided to use technology on trail to navigate back but Google sent him the wrong way (that cursed blue dot!) Roger the Cabin Boy presumably couldn’t see the trail from under his over-large umbrella and Genie in the Bollock seemed to disappear into his bottle, or maybe it was his bollock. They finally made it back to the car park relatively unscathed, just as the circle was starting and the rain again came pelting down.
Fine Young Cannibal and Nikki Bitch were given down downs for arriving late. The hares had moved the start time forward so they could watch Manchester Shitty at the on on. More about that later.
Brave Fart was called in after his pitiful Facebook plea for the return of his lost clothes after last week’s hash. He’d finally found his hat under his car seat and discovered that From Behind had worn the rest of his clothes home. Guys, too much information, we really don’t want to know the details.
It was discovered that the visiting hasher from Phnom Penh, Herring Choker, was the hasher responsible for introducing a virginal From Behind to the hash many moons ago. This should have been an offence punishable by a long time on the ice but unfortunately, none was available.
Hashers who need to get a life were rewarded with badges for their loyalty. SARS (50), Red Hot Chilli (100), From Behind (125) and Google Master Bates (150).
By this time, Cardinal Colonic was looking very irrigated by the rain and closed the circle, meaning the hashers were free to continue to the on on to dry out and recover by gorging on fine wine, pasta and pizza.
Manchester Shitty weren’t that shitty as they beat Everton 3-0, which is karma for Sir Flakey who flaked to watch his team’s terrible defeat. Should have come hashing, Flakey!
So, what was promised to be a shitty hash really wasn’t, especially as it scored a very respectable and unshitty 9 points, although only because nobody could be arsed to add up the scores. Well done, Shagadelic and Crooner, ably assisted by Stiffany! On on to Estepona next weekend!
